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For those who have never watched a cryptocurrency undergo its own version of a mid‑life crisis, the halving is a programmed event that occurs every 840,000 blocks, which works out to about every four years. It’s the same principle as Bitcoin, only with a smaller crowd and a more modest fan base. When a halving hits, the reward that miners get for doing the blockchain’s heavy lifting gets cut in half, which theoretically means fewer new coins flood the market, thus keeping inflation at bay-kind of like how I try to limit my intake of cheese by only buying the really expensive kind.

A financial corpse crawling in a cryptic wallet stirred awake on Thursday, hauling a haul worth more than $7 million-in the form of TRUMP tokens-when the token’s own mushy marketing team announced a second gala for the cream of the crop. The numbers bounced more than a hound dog chasing a biscuit, leaping 60% from a low that’d make a barn flood.

Since the dawn of this week, our amiable Shiba Inu has pranced about, gaining nearly 17% in value, now trading at the princely sum of $0.00000618. To put this in perspective, it was merely sitting at $0.00000527 just a few days prior-an ascent that would make even the most ambitious of investors raise an eyebrow in delight.

To the uninitiated, the answer is a resounding “not yet,” but to the discerning observer, the matter is as intriguing as a well-stocked library.

Crypto is once again at the center of Washington’s latest sanctions push. On an official press release on March 12, the US Treasury announced that they have blacklisted a North Korean IT‑worker network accused of routing nearly $800 million through digital assets to fund weapons programs in 2024. The Secretary of the Treasury Scott Bessent, quoted on the announcement, warned that “The North Korean regime targets American companies through deceptive schemes carried out by its overseas IT operatives, who weaponize sensitive data and extort businesses for substantial payments”.

Energy markets are still trying to figure out what day it is. Bitcoin miners, meanwhile, are panicking about power bills. Spoiler: it’s the wrong panic.

The institutional crowd, ever the relentless tide, pushed through the week’s currents, though the flow slowed a bit. Spot bitcoin ETFs recorded $53.87 million in net inflows, a fourth consecutive day of positive flows, as if the market itself were whispering, “More, more, more.”

According to Bloomberg’s James Seyffart, the ETF raked in $15.5 million on its first day. Which, if you’re not a Wall Street wizard, is about the same amount of money I’ve spent on overpriced coffee this month. But hey, at least it’s not a scam… probably.

This, my dear reader, is but the first installment in the grand scheme known as the Orion Fund, a venture of such ambition it has been forged in partnership with the illustrious Draper Dragon. The objective, you inquire? Why, to establish a shared venture fund to the tune of eighty million dollars, dedicated to fostering startups, enriching the ecosystem, and propelling projects upon the Cardano platform. The voting, I must inform you, shall conclude on the fifteenth of April, a date that shall no doubt be marked with great anticipation.

Ethereum, with its $15.4 billion in RWA assets, stands tall in value, but its 153,000 holders pale in comparison to Plume’s legion. Solana, the new darling, crosses the 157,000 mark, yet still falls short. And XRP? Ah, poor XRP, with its mere 3,795 RWA users, despite Ripple’s grand tokenization symphony. A billionaire in value, perhaps, but a pauper in popularity. Meanwhile, Plume, with its modest $340 million, laughs from the sidelines, its user base a testament to the power of the unheralded.