😱 Oops! Crypto Shorts Gone Wild: $190M Down the Drain! 🚀

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Well, butter my biscuit and call me crypto-curious! 🧈💸 One fancy-pants investment firm just learned the hard way that shorting Bitcoin (BTC), Ethereum (ETH), and their altcoin cousins is like trying to outrun a treadmill – spoiler alert: it doesn’t end well. According to the sleuths at Lookonchain, Abraxas Capital (yes, that’s a real name, not a Harry Potter spell) is now $190 million lighter after their brilliant hedge plan went *poof* like a forgotten New Year’s resolution. 🪄💨

In a plot twist worthy of a Netflix binge, Abraxas – managing a cool $3 billion, no biggie – decided to short BTC, ETH, Solana (SOL), SUI Network (SUI), and Hyperliquid (HYPE). Because, you know, hedging is just adulting for rich people. But guess what? Their positions were about as stable as a Jenga tower after three mimosas. 🥂🤦‍♀️

“Abraxas Capital’s two accounts are shorting ETH, BTC, SOL, HYPE, and SUI as a hedge against spot holdings, with total unrealized losses exceeding $190 million! They’re holding 113,819 ETH ($483 million) in shorts – down more than $144 million.” 🤑😵‍💫

For those not fluent in Wall Street lingo, shorting is basically betting that something will crash harder than my self-esteem after a group text. You borrow an asset, sell it, and hope to buy it back cheaper later. But when the market goes, “LOL, nope,” you’re left holding the bag. 🛍️😭

And it’s not just Abraxas feeling the burn. Some mystery whale (not the ocean kind, the crypto kind) tried to short Ethereum and ended up $20 million poorer. Ouch. 🦈💸

“To avoid liquidation, whale 0x8c58 deposited another 8.6 million USDC into Hyperliquid over the past 24 hours. He shorted ETH at ~$2,969 on July 12, but as ETH kept climbing, he kept adding margin to avoid liquidation… New liquidation price: $4,885.3.” 🌊💔

Meanwhile, over in Solana-ville, Galaxy Digital is allegedly dumping SOL like it’s last season’s fashion trend. Lookonchain spotted them moving 224,000 SOL ($41.12 million) into Binance and Coinbase. Is it a fire sale, or are they just Marie Kondo-ing their portfolio? 🛍️🔥

As of now, SOL is chilling at $184, BTC is flexing at $122,187, and ETH is holding strong at $4,302. But let’s be real – the only thing stronger than these prices is the schadenfreude we’re all feeling right now. 😏💪

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2025-08-11 15:02