😱 Stablecoin Savior or Just Another Scam?

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Ah, yes. Another proclamation from the digital ether. Ripple, that purveyor of…solutions, has seen fit to bestow upon the African continent its RLUSD, a “stablecoin” backed, naturally, by the very thing that crumbles and shifts beneath our feet – the American dollar. Such benevolence! They partner with Chipper Cash, VALR, and Yellow Card, names which, I confess, evoke images of brightly colored distractions from the essential emptiness of existence. Institutional access, they claim? As if institutions haven’t enough access as it is, building their empires on the backs of the desperate and the hopeful.

Seven hundred million, they boast! A mere pittance in the grand scheme of human suffering, yet enough to warrant a press release, naturally. Issued by a New York trust, oh, the legitimacy! Regulated by the NYDFS… as if regulation guarantees anything beyond the illusion of control. Compliance, they whisper, as if that’s a virtue, rather than a cage. It lends it “credibility,” they say…but credibility in what? In the endless pursuit of profit? 🤨

Jack McDonald, a name to remember (or perhaps swiftly forget), SVP of Stablecoins at Ripple (a title that sounds suspiciously like something from a poorly conceived dystopian novel) proclaims demand. “Demand!” As if the people of Africa are clamoring for yet another digital abstraction. They speak of payments, tokenization, collateral… words, words, words! Empty shells concealing the cold, hard reality of finance. They will “unlock new potential”…the potential for further entanglement, no doubt.

1/ The next chapter for $RLUSD starts in Africa.
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We’re proud to bring our trusted, USD-backed stablecoin to the continent with new partners @chippercashapp, @VALRdotcom, and @YellowCard_App. 🌍

Together, we’ll unlock new potential for cross-border…

– Ripple (@Ripple) September 4, 2025

And now, the chorus of the self-satisfied. Ham Serunjogi, Farzam Ehsani, Chris Maurice… each waxing poetic about “safe and reliable digital assets,” and “making payments more reliable and compliant.” As if reliability and compliance are the highest aspirations of humankind! They speak with such earnestness, such blissful ignorance of the abyss that lies beneath their digital facades. 🙄

But wait, there’s more! RLUSD isn’t *just* a stablecoin, you see. It “helps move money,” “manages money,” “supports DeFi,” and (most suspiciously) “can back real-world assets.” In Kenya, they’re using it for… insurance for farmers? Paid out by *satellite data*? A truly modern tragedy, unfolding in the most detached and dehumanizing way possible. It’s almost… poetic. 🎭

Oh, and it’s on other exchanges too. Bitso, Bitstamp, Bullish… a veritable roll call of the digitally obsessed. Institutions worldwide, they say, have access. Of course they do. The few always have access to the many. The wheel turns, and the poor remain poor, only now their poverty is digitized. A triumph! 🎉

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2025-09-04 11:16