🚀 A Bitcoin Ballet: The Grand Walz of Strategy’s Slowing Accumulation! 💸

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Once a voracious Bitcoin glutton, Strategy now nibbles at crumbs like a squirrel debating the merits of hibernation. Remember when they gobbled 55,500 BTC weekly, as if Satoshi himself had whispered “YOLO” in their ear? Now? A paltry 200 BTC weekly-less than a crypto bro’s post-divorce portfolio. 🐿️💔

Their vaults, once echoing with the clink of digital gold, now host a quieter symphony: 3.2% of all Bitcoin, a hoard so vast it could make Midas blush. But alas, equity premiums have cratered from 208% to 4%, because nothing says “confidence” like begging investors with a 4% markup. 🙃

Slower Buys, Same Delusions of Grandeur

Enter Maartunn, the digital soothsayer, who notes last week’s $22.1 million splurge on 196 BTC. A “bargain” only if you consider a Lamborghini a starter car. Yet 2025 remains Strategy’s second-Biggest Year™, trailing 2024’s $21.76 billion bonanza. Think of it as the Bitcoin equivalent of finishing second in a hot-dog-eating contest. 🍔

MSTR stock? Down 50% from its peak. Bitcoin? Down 16%. A widening gap, like a marriage crumbling under the weight of too many mining rigs. Yet Strategy buys near highs like a masochist with a Lambo-phase flowchart. 📈➡️📉

“Strategy tiptoes, not stomps, through Bitcoin’s tulip fields-still dancing, but to a dirge.” -Maartunn, probably while sipping espresso and side-eyeing a spreadsheet

Trillion-Dollar Fantasia

Michael Saylor, Strategy’s Gandalf of BTC, insists Bitcoin will “reinvent the global credit system.” Picture a TED Talk where “disrupt” is uttered 47 times. His endgame? $1 trillion in BTC, grown annually like a fungal infection in a crypto wallet. 🧠💸

“The only way to lose,” he croons, “is not to play.” A rallying cry for those who think buying icebergs as the Titanic’s band plays on is a vibe. 🧊🎶

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2025-10-27 15:08