🚀 Trump’s Bitcoin Hoard: Is the U.S. Going Full Crypto Crazy? 🤑

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Blabbering next to Tether’s CEO Paolo Ardoino (aka the stablecoin whisperer), Hines dropped a hot take that’s spicier than a Liz Lemon one-liner: he’s “very confident” the U.S. will sprint faster than Kenneth on a sugar high to pass a Strategic Bitcoin Reserve (SBR) law. Apparently, it’s a top priority for President Trump, who’s clearly trading in his MAGA hat for a laser eyes NFT. 🦅💎

Hines predicts by New Year’s Eve, the administration will pop the champagne on two big wins: the GENIUS Act (because stablecoins needed rules, duh) and the BITCOIN Act, which will turn the U.S. into a Bitcoin hoarder. Move over, gold reserves-there’s a new shiny thing in town. ✨

Executive Order to Legislation: Because Why Not?

Earlier this year, the White House dropped an executive order like it was a mic at the end of a bad stand-up set, telling the Treasury to hold onto seized Bitcoin and not sell it. The BITCOIN Act, introduced by Sen. Cynthia Lummis and Rep. Nick Begich (aka the crypto dream team), would turn this into actual law. Because nothing says “we’re serious” like making it official. 📜🤓

Hines claims this will make the U.S. the “crypto capital of the world,” which is basically the financial equivalent of winning a Miss Congeniality crown. 👑🌍

Policy Momentum and Political Drama (Because What’s Life Without It?)

Hines jumped ship from the government to Tether faster than Jenna Maroney switches diets. He was the mastermind behind the GENIUS Act, which Trump signed in July. That bill basically gave stablecoins a rulebook, paving the way for a bigger digital asset party. 🎉📚

But here’s the twist: Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent said the U.S. isn’t “buying” Bitcoin directly, then backpedaled faster than Tracy Jordan after a bad joke. Apparently, seized Bitcoin will stay in the reserve, and budget-neutral accumulation is still on the table. So, it’s a yes? A no? A maybe? Welcome to Washington, folks. 🤷‍♂️💼

If the BITCOIN Act passes this fall, it’ll be the second crypto law signed in 2025, turning Bitcoin into America’s new favorite reserve asset. Because nothing says “strategic” like a volatile cryptocurrency. 🚀📈

Disclaimer: This article is for laughs and info only. Don’t take financial advice from someone who still thinks the Euro is a dance move. Always do your own research and consult a real adult (aka a licensed financial advisor) before making any decisions. Coindoo.com doesn’t endorse anything except memes and sarcasm.

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2025-08-28 02:24