« Ah, mesdames et messieurs, the Federal Reserve, that most noble of central banks, hath returned to the bond market like a jester reclaiming his crown! » Coinbase Institutional proclaimed, with all the gravitas of a playwright’s aside, « Thus, the drain of cash from markets may be behind us… or perhaps merely postponed! »
In their monthly report-a scroll of such length it could rival the Illiad-they pondered why Bitcoin, that fickle lover of volatility, hath performed so poorly of late. Alas, it hath fallen three standard deviations below its 90-day average, while the S&P 500, that stoic companion, hath but stumbled once. How tragic!
« While fear remains elevated, we believe conditions favor a reversal in December. »
Buy the dip? Why, yes! For when quantitative tightening ends, the Fed returns to the bond market like a vengeful ghost, and the drain of cash may be behind us… or perhaps it’s just hiding in the shadows. 🎭
So why did BTC dump?
- BTC broke major bull market support bands (like a trampled bouquet at a wedding).
- Options traders… (plot twist!)
– Coinbase Institutional (@CoinbaseInsto) December 2, 2025
Breaking Down The Breakdown
The market, that great stage of chaos, digested October’s liquidation with the grace of a drunkard. Altcoins, poor souls, were hit hardest. Spot ETF flows turned negative, stablecoin supply contracted, and long-term holders distributed coins like confetti at a funeral. Even digital asset treasuries trade below net asset values-how droll!
« We think sidelined cash could pivot into regulated BTC vehicles when conditions stabilize. »
All seems gloomy, yet macroeconomic fundamentals thrive like a weed in a crack. Coinbase, ever the optimist, claims stabilization will take « a few months »-a blink in financial theater. Yet they whisper, « December may bring reversal, as the Fed cuts rates and unlocks inflows. »
Bearish on The Fed
Enter James Lavish, reformed hedge-fund jester, who declared, « I am bearish on the Fed and what they do to the dollar! » The US Dollar Index, that proud sovereign, hath plummeted 10% this year. When the Fed begins QE, it shall tank further, like a lead-filled swan.
In 16 years, the Fed hath added $8.8 trillion in liquidity, yet removed but $3.2 trillion before surrendering. Hence, my bullishness on Bitcoin! It is simple: I despise the Fed’s antics. 🤡
– James Lavish (@jameslavish) December 2, 2025
Lo and behold! The Fed hath already injected $13.5 billion into the banking system via overnight repos, a sum so vast it could fund a thousand Molière plays. The farce continues…
Read More
- Will Solfart Fart Its Way to Crypto Fame? 🤔
- Oh, The Drama! Crypto Whales Evacuate as Market Prepares to Shuffle 🌪️
- 🚀 ETH’s Wild Ride: Will It Break Free or Crash Harder? 🌕
- Gold Rate Forecast
- Bitcoin Mania: Health Firm Goes Full Crypto! 🚀
- Bitcoin Predictions: Dead Cat Bounce or Bullish Bliss? 😹💰
- Top 10 Fast-Growing Blockchains of 2025 – Who’s Gaining Users? 🎯
- SKY Crypto Surges: Is a Pullback Coming? 🚀
- Bitcoin Miners Go Green as AI Deals and Bitcoin Surge Create Perfect Storm
- Cardano vs. Quantum: Charles’ ‘Clinic’ Chaos
2025-12-04 00:48