🚨 Gnosis Forks Reality, Steals Back $116M from Crypto Grinch! 🎄

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In the dusty plains of the blockchain, where code is law and wallets weep, the Gnosis chain operators, with calloused hands and determined hearts, executed a hard fork. Their mission? To reclaim what was stolen in the dead of November-a cool $116 million tied to the Balancer exploit. 🦹‍♂️💰

On a Tuesday, as the sun cast long shadows over the digital frontier, Gnosis took to the X post, their voice crackling like an old radio. “We’ve done it,” they declared, “the funds are out of the hacker’s greasy paws.” A partial victory, perhaps, but a victory nonetheless. 🥳🙌

The hard fork, born on a Monday, was the child of necessity, sired by a majority of validators who had already adopted a soft fork in November. The Balancer exploit, a wound that festered in the “Balancer‑managed contracts on Gnosis Chain,” had finally been cauterized. 🔥⚒️

Philippe Schommers, the grizzled head of infrastructure at Gnosis, scratched his beard and spoke in a forum post on Dec. 12. “Folks are still jawin’ about how to get their funds back, and how to tip their hats to the heroes who saved the day,” he said, his voice thick with the weight of the task. “But right now, we’re just tryin’ to get those funds safe by Christmas. Once they’re snug in a DAO-controlled wallet, we’ll figure out the rest.” 🎁🎄

Back on Nov. 3, Balancer had hollered that their decentralized exchange had been gutted for over $116 million in digital assets. Onchain data showed the hacker, a phantom in the night, had spirited away millions in staked Ether (ETH) to a new wallet. 🕵️‍♂️🤑

Balancer later crowed that white hat hackers had wrangled back about $28 million, but the bulk of the loot remained in the wind. Still, in this tale of woe, there’s a glimmer of hope-a reminder that even in the wild west of crypto, there are sheriffs who fight back. 🤠⚖️

11 Audits and a Hacker Still Slipped Through-Go Figure! 🤦‍♂️

According to the dusty scrolls of GitHub, four security companies had pored over Balancer V2’s smart contracts 11 times. Yet, the exploit, a sly fox, had slipped through, isolated to the V2 Composable Stable Pools. Turns out, even the best fences can’t keep out a determined thief. 🦊🔒

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2025-12-23 23:57