🚨K-Lawyer Shocker: EthereumMax Shills Dodge NATIONWIDE Disaster, But 4 States Still Throwing Punchlines!

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Hold onto your diamond-hand wallets, schmucks-because the EMAX circus just rolled back into court! A California judge basically handed the bag-holders a gift-wrapped, partially-eaten brisket: four states can keep suing the celebrity shills, but the rest of the sorry nation is stuck watching from the popcorn stands. Mazel tov! 🥳

Judge Michael “Let-Make-This-Interesting” Fitzgerald stamped “motion approved” on Wednesday faster than you can say “pump-and-dump matzo ball soup.” That means the cases in New York, California, Florida, and (what exit?) New Jersey march on, but a cross-country stampede of angry investors? Denied faster than last year’s NFT fad.

Translation: California law packs sunscreen, Florida law brings alligators, and neither wants to explain itself to anyone who still thinks “gas fees” are something you pay at Chevron. 💸

The celebrity defendants? A lineup juicier than a deli sandwich: Kim “I-can-sell-you-ice-in-Winter” Kardashian, Floyd “Money-May-promote-anything” Mayweather, and Paul “Truth-from-the-pier” Pierce. Oh, and let’s not overlook the behind-the-curtain shmendriks like EMAX Holdings, Giovanni “I-swear-it’s-not-a-Ponzi” Perone, and Jona “Consultant-of-Chaos” Rechnitz.

Kim’s 2021 Instagram story alone reached up to 200 million eyeballs, proving that when it comes to influencing, her reach is longer than a Yom Kippur sermon. 📱

Once Upon a 2021: EMAX-The “Culture Token” That Out-Cultured Itself

Remember 2021? The year when “culture” got redefined as “Hey, buy this thing that explodes 116,000 % in seven days, then implodes faster than my uncle Lou’s toupee in a hurricane.”

Yes, EthereumMax’s white paper called it a “culture token,” which apparently means “culture” as in petri dish. After the mega-pump came the mega-dump, leaving investors holding bags so big even Santa’s elves filed for overtime. 🎅💔

Fitzgerald tried to toss the case in December 2022, insisting investors should’ve done their “due diligence” (Yiddish for “Google it, bubbeleh!”). But like a bad sequel, the plaintiffs refiled seven months later-same judge, same courtroom, same schtick.

Meanwhile, Kim K already cut a $1.26 million check to the SEC for “forgetting” to mention a $250 k promotional payout. Because nothing says “influencer transparency” like forgetting an extra zero or four. 🖋️💸

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2025-08-08 22:04