🤑 Tether’s $10B Profit Party: Gold, Bitcoin, and Buybacks, Oh My! 🥳

Finance

What to know (or what to marvel at, really):

  • Tether’s net profits for 2025 have rocketed past $10 billion by the third quarter. 🚀 Because, you know, who needs a mere billion when you can have ten?
  • They’ve also started a share buyback program and are cozying up to El Salvador for an investment fund license. 🌍✨
  • Oh, and they’re sitting on $12.9 billion in gold and $9.9 billion in bitcoin. Because why not? 💰🪙

Tether, the issuer of the world’s largest stablecoin (yes, the one that makes your crypto feel all warm and fuzzy inside), announced on Friday that its net profits have surpassed $10 billion this year. Their flagship token, USDT, has ballooned to a $174 billion market cap in Q3 2025. 🌕✨

According to their latest attestation (signed by the ever-so-serious BDO Italy), Tether ended the quarter with $6.8 billion in excess reserves. That’s right, they’ve got a buffer bigger than your aunt’s holiday buffet. 🍗

“With our all-time high exposure to U.S. Treasuries, now at $135 billion, we’re basically the 17th largest holder of U.S. debt,” CEO Paolo Ardoino said, probably while adjusting his monocle. 🧐

And let’s not forget the $12.9 billion in gold and $9.9 billion in bitcoin. Because, you know, diversification is key-unless you’re talking about your Netflix queue. 📺

Tether also kicked off a share buyback program, with “prospective participation by institutional investors interested in a private placement.” Bloomberg whispered earlier that Tether’s aiming to raise up to $20 billion, with Ark Invest and SoftBank reportedly eyeing the round. 🕵️♂️💼

Oh, and they’ve applied for an investment fund license in El Salvador, where they’re headquartered. They also settled litigation with the bankrupt crypto lender Celsius in October, using their own capital-not the reserves backing issued tokens. Because, you know, integrity. 🤝

All this comes as stablecoins are booming globally, with Tether at the helm as the issuer of the largest digital dollar. The circulating supply of USDT crossed $174 billion by September’s end, expanding by $17 billion in Q3. 📈

The crypto giant is also prepping to launch a new stablecoin called USAT later this year, focused on the U.S. market and issued with crypto bank Anchorage Digital. They’re eyeing two to three investments to boost distribution, similar to their stake in Rumble, where tokens will be used for tipping creators. Because who doesn’t love a good tip? (Except maybe your barista when you leave 25 cents.) ☕💸

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2025-10-31 20:14