🤑 Trump’s Bitcoin Hoard: Still a Thing or Just Bureaucratic Nonsense? 🤑

Ah, the grand theater of power! The White House, that marble mausoleum of dreams and decrees, still clings to its vision of a US Strategic Bitcoin Reserve-a priority, they say, with all the conviction of a man promising rain in the desert. 🌵 Yet, as the gears of bureaucracy grind slower than a peasant’s hope, officials fumble with legalities and red tape, turning a simple idea into a labyrinth of “why nots” and “who knows?” 🤡

The Great Bitcoin Reserve: A Priority, They Insist!

In a conversation recorded within the hallowed halls of the White House-for the January 13 episode of Crypto In America, no less-Patrick Witt, the executive director of the White House Crypto Council, assured host Eleanor Terrett that the wheels are turning. 🛠️ Interagency talks, he claims, are as lively as a market square on payday, all in service of President Donald Trump’s executive order. Meanwhile, Congress, ever the diligent spectator, prepares its next move on crypto legislation, because why let the week go to waste? 📜

When asked about the reserve’s fate, Witt-ever the diplomat-pointed to a process driven not by mere mortals, but by the operations machinery of the federal government. 🏭 “We’ve had good engagement,” he said, with a straight face, from the Deputy Chief of Staff for Policy team, led by the illustrious Steven Miller. Their mission? To ensure agencies march in lockstep with the president’s orders, no matter how obscure the legal provisions or how tangled the bureaucratic web. 🕸️

“It seems straightforward,” Witt admitted, with a shrug that spoke volumes, “but then you get into some… obscure legal provisions and why this agency can’t do it, but actually this agency could.” 🧐 The treasury team, the commerce team-all are involved, he assured, in a dance as intricate as a Gorky novel. The current phase, he framed, is less about desire and more about survival: ensuring the reserve can withstand the scrutiny of a thousand watchful eyes. 👀

“We’re continuing to push on that,” Witt declared, with the fervor of a man tilting at windmills. “It is certainly still on the priority list right now.” And, of course, the Department of Justice and the Office of Legal Counsel have offered their wisdom, guiding the way like beacons in the fog. 🌟

All this unfolds against the backdrop of Trump’s March 2025 executive order-a decree as grand as it was ambitious. A Strategic Bitcoin Reserve! A “digital asset stockpile”! 🏦 The government, it seems, was to treat its federally held bitcoin as a long-term treasure, while agencies scurried to find budget-neutral ways to acquire more. Ah, the dreams of kings! 👑

But what of the whispers in Bitcoin circles? The speculation that the Department of Justice had sold bitcoin linked to the Samourai Wallet case, potentially undermining the administration’s grand plan? 🕵️‍♂️ “Misreported,” Witt waved it away, with a dismissive flick of the hand. “Standard legal drafting,” he explained, as if that settled the matter. The bitcoins, he assured, remain unsold, their digital souls intact. 💾

And so, Witt’s message to the world was clear: the headline allegation-that the DOJ had “outright violated” the executive order-is but a phantom, a worry unworthy of the people’s time. 📰 Though, he added, with a wink and a nod, he could say no more. 🤐

At press time, BTC traded at $95,078, a number as fleeting as the promises of politicians. 📈

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2026-01-15 04:18