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Oh, what a delightful twist! Walmart’s fintech platform, OnePay, is now dishing out cryptocurrency trading and custody features like a well-timed punchline. 🤡 Bitcoin and Ethereum will soon be as commonplace in your cart as kale and toilet paper. Users can trade crypto, pay for purchases, or even settle credit card debt-because nothing says “financial freedom” like using digital gold to buy groceries. 🧾 Powered by a partnership with Zerohash, a crypto infrastructure startup that sounds like a 1970s tech firm, this move aims to make crypto “accessible” to the masses. 🧙♂️ One can only hope the average consumer isn’t left as confused as a penguin in a sauna. 🐧