Ah, yes. The curious confluence of bedside manner and blockchain, wouldn’t you say? David Bailey’s Nakamoto – a name vibrating with a certain, shall we say, *robust* self-importance – has successfully completed its absorption of KindlyMD. KindlyMD, a purveyor of healthcare, now intends to metamorphose into a publicly traded vessel for the accumulation of… Bitcoin. A million of them, if one dares to believe the pronouncements. One shudders to think of the diagnostic charts rendered in candlesticks.
The amalgamation will, for the time being, retain the rather pedestrian moniker of KindlyMD, fluttering about the Nasdaq under the ticker NAKA. Nakamoto, meanwhile, will reside within, a sleek, digital parasite hosting within a slightly bewildered organism. It’s a fascinating, if somewhat unsettling, symbiosis.
Such aspirations! To gather a significant hoard from the limited offering of twenty-one million bitcoins. It’s like collecting porcelain thimbles, only with a considerably higher degree of speculative fervor. 🧐
Mr. Bailey, naturally, assumes the lofty positions of CEO and Chairman. The former CEO of KindlyMD, one Tim Pickett, will continue to oversee the mundanities of actual healthcare as chief medical officer. A comforting thought, that one’s symptoms will be analyzed by someone who isn’t solely fixated on logarithmic scales.
The market, predictably, responded with a giddy little flourish. KindlyMD shares experienced a 13.4% ascent, adding to a price rally that began, rather conveniently, around the time this improbable union was first murmured. Human behavior, always so delightfully predictable.
Bailey, a man who apparently once advised a former president on the mysteries of Bitcoin (one imagines a rather fraught conversation), declared a vision of a world operating on a “Bitcoin standard.” A brave new world indeed, though one suspects the physicians will still insist on actual currency for their invoices.
KindlyMD’s ambition, stated boldly, is to acquire one million Bitcoin, democratize its accessibility and further the ominous “corporate and government adoptions” of this curious digital asset. All very grand.
One cannot ignore the company. Michael Saylor, that ardent collector (currently boasting a rather impressive 628,946 coins), remains steadfast in his accumulation. Metaplanet and Semler Scientific are also engaged in this frantic digital treasure hunt, aiming for 210,000 and 105,000 bitcoins respectively, by 2027. The digital gold rush continues, then. And, of course, the titans of traditional finance, BlackRock and Fidelity, are not to be left out, aggressively increasing their holdings. Such a clamor! 💰
21 BTC down, 999,979 to go
Currently, KindlyMD, bless its heart, possesses a mere 21 Bitcoin. A pittance, really. But fear not! A hefty $540 million, gleaned from a recent financial maneuver, has been earmarked to swell the treasury. At today’s capricious market rates, this could add another 4,544 Bitcoins to the purse, pushing KindlyMD into the top twenty hoarders. Progress, of sorts.
And yet another impending infusion of $200 million is purportedly on the horizon. One almost feels sorry for the accountants.
KindlyMD unveils new board leaders
The board, naturally, has been bolstered by an assortment of Bitcoin cognoscenti – Eric Weiss, the man who “orange-pilled” Saylor (a curious expression, that…), and Mark Yusco, of Morgan Creek Capital Management. Greg Xethalis and Perianna Boring have also found their way onto the board. A gathering of true believers, no doubt.🙏
NAKA shares soar
The market’s exuberance sent NAKA’s share price to a dazzling $15.02, inflating its market capitalization to $114.25 million. A testament, perhaps, to the enduring power of hype and the boundless optimism of investors. KindlyMD now sits $2.85 higher since May 12th and is on the upward trend.
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2025-08-15 08:30