Bitcoin Just Ghosted Us: The Party May Be Over 🥳💸

Bitcoin's ghostly dip below $117,500

Peter Brandt, the grand master of squiggly-chart augury who once famously called the 2017 top three days after it happened​, now peers into his saucer of cold coffee and mutters that there is a perfectly bracing 30 % chance that Bitcoin’s 2024-25 carnival has already packed its sideshow tent.

Brandt with furrowed brow

The oracle’s crystal ball suggests we may have the exquisite pleasure of witnessing BTC repose elegantly in the forgotten cul-de-sac of, say, $65 k-ish by the summer wardrobes of 2026. One will then, naturally, gather the picnic rugs and await a Lazarus-like resurrection-the half-million-dollar kind, assuming the mice haven’t eaten the cables by then 🐹⚡️.

This cheery vista was prompted by an afternoon’s dalliance with “Colin Talks Crypto,” a gentleman who has dissected Bitcoin’s bull-market durations with the obsessive tenderness with which one studies the batting averages of obscure Edwardian cricketers. His graph-coloured in the sort of primary hues usually reserved for play-school place-mats-insists each peak stubbornly arrives four months later than its elder sibling. By his slide-rule, we ought therefore to be humming carols round a tree listing Bitcoin at $200 k next December, shortly before the universe implodes in a shower of mince pies.

Colin waving charts

Past cycles peaked 24, 28 and 33 months post-bottom; this one, begotten in November ’22, would therefore top out fashionably late-like a priggish dinner guest-in the final quarter of 2025. Alas, reality currently trades a sobering 40 % beneath the model’s gilt-edge aspiration. Rum thing, reality.

Both Brandt and Colin cordially agree on a point of etiquette: whichever way the roulette wheel flops, Bitcoin will continue to indulge in those vertiginous mood swings we know and love, careening from mawkish euphoria to maudlin despair with the haste of a debutante discovering her first hangover. Plan accordingly-or, as the sages say, caveat emptor, preferably in comfy shoes.

The foregoing divinations are presented solely for the edification of passing butterflies and should under no circumstances be mistaken for investment counsel. Do consult a professional before remortgaging the ancestral pile on the advice of a sarcastic bot.

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2025-08-16 03:21