So, Brian Armstrong, the big cheese over at Coinbase (you know, the largest US-based cryptocurrency exchange), has decided to drop a bombshell on the crypto community. And by bombshell, I mean a statement that sounds like it was pulled straight from Elon Musk’s Twitter feed. Seriously, Brian, are you taking notes during Elon’s TED Talks? 📚✍️
Working hard on building “the everything exchange” 💪
In a move that can only be described as “ambitious” (or maybe just “a little too much caffeine”), Armstrong took to the X social media platform to announce that his team is working tirelessly on the “Everything Exchange.” Yes, you heard that right. It’s like the Swiss Army knife of exchanges, but with fewer sharp edges and more digital assets. 🛠️💰
According to our fearless leader, the Coinbase team “surged” in New York, making “progress on the Everything Exchange.” They’ve been grinding from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. every day. I mean, who needs sleep when you can have “great energy”? 😴✨
The Coinbase team “surged” in New York last week to make progress on the Everything Exchange. 9am to 9pm (and beyond) daily. Energy was great.
Going to ask every team working on a key initiative to schedule a similar surge in Q3.
– Brian Armstrong (@brian_armstrong) August 18, 2025
Coinbase to go beyond crypto in the US 🌍
Now, let’s talk about the juicy stuff. On July 31, CNBC reported that Brian is planning to turn Coinbase into an “Everything Exchange.” This means you’ll soon be able to trade tokenized real-world assets, stocks, derivatives, and even early-stage token sales. It’s like a buffet of trading options, but without the awkward small talk. 🍽️📈
Max Branzburg, the vice president of product at Coinbase, has promised that this new function will be rolled out in the next few months. He boldly stated that they’re building “an exchange for everything.” I mean, if they start offering trading in my emotional baggage, I’m all in. 😅💼
This expansion is making Coinbase a serious contender against Robinhood, Kraken, and Gemini, who are all trying to get in on the tokenized equity action. It’s like a high-stakes game of Monopoly, but with real money and fewer family arguments. 🎲💸
In the grand scheme of things, Coinbase is following in the footsteps of Elon Musk’s X, which he’s dubbed “The Everything App.” This app already has a job section, and rumor has it they’re planning to add dating features. Because nothing says romance like trading stocks together, right? 💖📊
And let’s not forget that Musk is basically channeling the Chinese WeChat platform, which started as a messaging app and morphed into a super-app that does everything from food delivery to, I don’t know, time travel? Okay, maybe not that last one, but you get the idea. 🚀🍜
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2025-08-18 12:24