Ambitious Dutch Firm Schemes to Nab 1% of Bitcoin-Is Amsterdam Ready?

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Today, under the misty, rain-soaked skies of the Netherlands, where bicycles squeak and tulips weep for lost youth, Amdax-an enterprising crypto outfit renowned for their relentless pursuit of coins both virtual and metaphorically dusty-announced an audacious plot: to birth a peculiar child named AMBTS B.V., a treasury company dedicated to Bitcoin. One can almost hear the clinking of wooden shoes and the feverish whispering in Amsterdam’s canals, as rumors swirl of impending riches and the sort of bureaucracy that only the Dutch find charming.

A Treasury Company! In Amsterdam! With More Bitcoin Than Sense! 🧀

Oh, to list one’s fortune on Euronext Amsterdam, seat of confusion and hope! Amdax, surely possessed by the spirit of every penny-pinching Dutch merchant who ever lived, prepares to inaugurate a company whose sole obsession is to hoard BTC like stroopwafels before a diet. Their dream? Bagging up to 1% of the global Bitcoin stash-a bold move, considering even tulip mania required fewer coins and more flowers.

This AMBTS contraption will be privately governed by individuals whose sole purpose is accumulating BTC. This is capitalism with a single-mindedness so intense, even Gogol’s Akaky Akakievich would envy its monotony. As they woo private investors, one suspects many a sleepless night measured in Euros and existential dread.

Right now, snatching 1% of Bitcoin’s supply, or about 210,000 BTC, costs $24 billion. That’s “millionaire madness” style-only Strategy has ever amassed more, clutching 628,946 BTC as if their lives depended on it (which, sadly, they probably do).

Why this attempt? Amdax blames inflation (which likes to sneak up in the night), geopolitical chaos (the kind that makes you miss your bus), and regulations so clear they could be written in Russian bureaucratese. BTC doesn’t dance to the same tune as stocks and bonds, and therefore, it seems, everyone must have some-like an umbrella in spring.

They plan to use initial funding for a “head start” so they can sprint after Bitcoin faster than a bureaucrat runs from paperwork, hoping this will plump up their equity like a Dutch pancake left in the rain.

For those still awake: Amdax has been a licensed crypto services provider five excruciatingly long years. In 2020, they became the first to register with the Dutch Central Bank, likely confusing bankers who still mourn the guilder. Lucas Wensing, their CEO and perhaps the last optimist in Amsterdam, mused:

“While Bitcoin has sprinted past all other assets in the great race of the last ten years and become digital capital’s golden calf, most investors still treat it like an unwanted Christmas sweater. Now, with over 10% of BTC nestling in the portfolios of corporations, governments, and any institution with a fondness for numbers, we think it’s jolly well time to set up a Bitcoin treasury-just in case anyone is actually watching.”

European BTC Adoption: Everyone’s Late, But At Least They Showed Up 🇳🇱🍻

Back in the days when Europeans thought “cryptocurrency” meant coins hidden in a sock, most gave BTC a cold shoulder. But lately, regulatory friendliness and the American urge to collect things (anything, really) have nudged Europeans toward Bitcoin like a gentle tax inspector.

The British, for instance, have gotten quietly greedy: The Smarter Web Company now nestles 1,825 BTC in their tea cupboard after a recent top-up of 225 coins. Satsuma Technology raised $135 million in a bid to accumulate even more. It’s possible they think Bitcoin is the future or just a good excuse to avoid talking about the weather.

Meanwhile, Norway-land of fish, fjords, and fabulous sweaters-found its sovereign wealth fund’s BTC exposure leaping 192% year-on-year. Governments too love drama, apparently. As of this moment, Bitcoin trades at $116,100, having slipped 1.8% overnight-no doubt tripped by a bad mood or a minor scandal.

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2025-08-19 10:15