Behold, dear reader, the grand spectacle of Bitcoin’s 2025 trading volume-the kind of chaos even Gogol would’ve scribbled in red ink! Santiment, that most serious of analysts, declares two colossal volume spikes as “near-perfect signals” for traders. Near-perfect? Pfft. More like a circus where the clowns wear Bitcoin wallets and the elephants trade options.
In the spring of this year, a $84.08 billion “bottom signal” erupted during a tariff tantrum, as if the market were screaming, “BUY! The floor is lava!” Then, with the grace of a drunkard on a trapeze, came a $90.90 billion spike, coinciding with Bitcoin’s “all-time high” above $124,000. A top signal? Oh yes, because nothing says “peak” like a crowd of investors tripping over each other to sell while whispering, “This time it’s different!”
Trading Volumes Flagged the Bottom and the Top
Santiment’s chart, a work of art if ever there was one, highlights these two moments. The first, a “sharp selloff” that supposedly gave bargain hunters entry points. Bargain? Ha! They bought at the bottom of a well, only to find the well was filled with other fools who’d already drowned. The second, a “top signal,” which arrived just as profit-takers danced on the grave of common sense, shouting, “YOLO!”
“The two largest volume spikes from Bitcoin signaled the optimal time to buy (as prices were falling) and sell (as prices peaked to a new ATH),” noted Santiment. One must commend their optimism. Or perhaps their delusion.
Meanwhile, Glassnode, that other oracle of data, revealed “First Buyers” had added 50,000 BTC in five days. First Buyers? More like “First Victims.” The “Conviction Buyers” joined in, though with the caution of a man walking into a bear pit. And the “Loss Sellers”? They surged 38%, a veritable parade of capitulation, as if the market were a theater and everyone was the punchline.
On August 20, long-term holders booked $2.8 billion in profits. BTC led the charge, pocketing $1.5 billion on July 18. A noble feat, if one ignores the $70 billion in market value that vanished overnight like a magician’s rabbit. And let us not forget Santiment’s “crowd sentiment” metrics, which now resemble a funeral. Pessimism? More like a full-blown dirge.
Price Action
As for Bitcoin’s price? It trades at $113,705, a 7% dip this week. A poor showing, even by crypto’s standards. The broader market fared better, shedding only 3.5%. But fear not! It’s still up 91% year-over-year. A triumph, if one ignores the 3.1% drop over 30 days and the fact that the coin now smells faintly of regret and burnt toast.
And so, dear reader, we are left with a tale as old as time: volume spikes, fool’s gold, and a market that treats its investors like characters in a tragicomedy. May your wallets be heavy and your patience lighter. Or perhaps not. 🚀💸
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2025-08-21 12:55