The ‘Coinbase Hacker’ Blows $8M on Solana-Oops, or Just Bad at Trading?

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Well, well, well, isn’t this a story? A wallet cheekily dubbed the “Coinbase hacker” just plopped down a cool $8 million on Solana this Sunday. Allegedly fueled by… let’s say, less-than-legal funds. Because who needs legality when you have crypto? 🎉

Apparently, this mysterious figure first fiddled with DAI, switched it over to USDC (because why not keep it confusing?), then bridged it onto Solana and splurged on 38,126 SOL-somewhere close to $209 each, multiple times. The catch? Solana’s current price butterfly-flutters around $202.15, so our shady investor is already looking at a teeny paper loss. Oops, kind of like buying a designer bag only for it to go on sale the next day. 💸

Blockchain watchdog Arkham has tagged this wallet as “Coinbase hacker,” and Lookonchain claims it’s linked to a cool $300 million worth of Coinbase funds gone missing-more than a little bit bad, really. The wallet’s the crypto equivalent of a bad kid with a lot of gift cards.

The hacker’s previous high-stakes drama: Ether edition

Back in July, our friend there solidified their reputation by selling 26,762 Ether-at the time, that was $69.25 million-like a crypto card shark, if card sharks sold stolen tokens. Now, that’s an exit move with flair! 🎩

Fast forward to July, this cryptic character bought 4,863 Ether ($12.55 million) and later 649 more for $2.3 million. The average price? A hefty $35,621 per token. Someone’s very bullish, or just really bad at timing? Maybe both.

Security whiz ZachXBT estimates that Coinbase victims have lost a staggering $330 million to social engineering scams-basically, clever con artists tricking people while pretending to be their best friends. 🚨

‘Radiant’ with Ill-Gotten Gains

Meanwhile, not everyone’s bad at trading. Last week, a wallet tied to the Radiant Capital hack bought 4,913 Ether, sold 4,131 ETH later that week, and netted a cool $2.7 million. It’s like every hacker’s dream-more money, less morality.

Lookonchain reports this stash has ballooned from $49.5 million to over $105 million-because hacking is obviously a gold mine. Radiant Capital itself was hacked mid-October 2024, losing $58 million in a cross-chain breach. Typical Tuesday in DeFi. 🤷‍♂️

They swapped the stolen loot into Ether, which means roughly 21,957 tokens worth about $103 million on paper today. The experts? Well, they say it’s probably just a weird side effect of trying to hide the loot. No strategic brilliance involved, just “Oops, I did it again.”

The not-so-smart hackers: Panic sells and how to lose money fast

Now, not all hackers are trading geniuses. Take the wallet flagged in July-sold 12,282 ETH and, during a market dip, bought back too high, losing $6.9 million. Yes, hackers aren’t exactly stock-market whizzes. Maybe they should consider a career in, I don’t know, gardening?

During another panic sell on August 15, they cashed out 4,958 ETH, locking in a neat $9.75 million profit. Emphasis on “neat,” because it’s almost like watching a slow-motion train wreck-hilarious but tragic. 🚂💥

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2025-08-25 10:42