Key points (because who has time for nuance?):
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Bitcoin’s flirting with $109k like it’s a bad Tinder date. Will it ghost us or commit? 🤷♂️
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Coinbase Premium flips green, which apparently means the US is still into crypto. Shocking. 🤑
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ETFs are like that ex who keeps coming back-positive flows despite BTC’s drama. 🤦♂️
Bitcoin (BTC) is hanging around $110k like it’s waiting for a bus that may never come. Wall Street’s watching, but let’s be honest, they’re just as confused as we are. 🚌💨
Coinbase Premium bounces back after $700M in liquidations-because why not? 🪂💸
CryptoMoon Markets Pro and TradingView say BTC’s volatility is chilling. Probably taking a nap after that $700M liquidation party. 🥳😴
CoinGlass says $700M in longs got wiped out in 24 hours. Ouch. Someone call the crypto therapist. 💔
BTC hit $108,717 on Bitstamp, which is like tripping on the stairs but pretending you meant to do it. Smooth, BTC. 🕺
Everyone’s freaking out about a $100k retest, but some people are like, “Nah, it’s cool.” Optimism or delusion? You decide. 🤡
BitBull’s like, “We’re close to the bottom, guys. Maybe. Probably. Unless we’re not.” Thanks, Sherlock. 🕵️♂️
“There’s a chance we’ll hit $106k-$108k, but I’m expecting a bounceback because, you know, hope.” 🌈
Coinbase Premium Index went green, which means the US is buying the dip. Or maybe they just forgot their passwords. 🤔
“Max pain is here, so a short rally is expected,” says BitBull. Because nothing says ‘recovery’ like maximum pain. 😖
Mister Crypto’s betting on a short squeeze because shorts are piled up above $115k. Good luck, shorts. You’ll need it. 🤞
Analyst: Bitcoin’s Q2 déjà vu-because why not relive the pain? 🎢
Cas Abbe from CryptoQuant’s like, “Hey, remember June? When BTC hit $112k and then face-planted to $98k? Good times.” 😬
“The chart looks the same. Lower lows, capitulation, everyone screaming ‘it’s over.’ Classic BTC.” 🎭
Ecoinometrics blames institutional flows for the sour mood. ETFs are like, “We’re just here for the drama.” 🍿
But wait! ETFs saw $220M in positive flows on Monday. So maybe they’re not totally done with us yet. 🤷♀️
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2025-08-26 18:44