Okay, so after HBO’s Bitcoin documentary was about as exciting as a PowerPoint on tax reform, someone finally decided to turn Satoshi Nakamoto’s life into an *actual* movie. Spoiler: It’s not a documentary. It’s an action thriller! Because nothing says “global conspiracy” like a guy who wrote code and vanished. 🎬😅
Doug Liman, the guy who directed The Bourne Identity and Mr. & Mrs. Smith, is now tackling Satoshi’s story. Presumably, he’s chugging 10 cups of coffee to stay awake through this one. According to Variety, the film will involve “global power structures” panicking because someone might actually know who Satoshi is. Classic! 😬
The stars? Oscar winner Casey Affleck (who’s probably tired of playing sad guys by now) and Pete Davidson (who’s here to make us laugh while the world burns). Their roles? Secret! Like the identity of Satoshi, but with better hair. 🤷♂️😂
The screenplay comes from Nick Schenk, who’s written for Clint Eastwood. Because nothing says “crypto” like a man in a leather jacket yelling about money. The plot? The “super-elite” (read: people who own yachts) will stop at nothing to keep Satoshi’s identity buried. Sounds like a Tuesday for them. 🕵️♂️
Produced by Ryan Kavanaugh, a guy who’s apparently the Elon Musk of Hollywood (but with fewer lawsuits). He’s worked on The Social Network, Fast and the Furious, and now this. Because nothing unites a car chase and Bitcoin like… conspiracies. 🚗💸
Shooting starts in October in London, where the fog is thick and secrets are thicker. Release next year, which is perfect timing for people to forget who Satoshi is again. The movie’s tagline? “A David and Goliath story.” Translation: A nerdy kid vs. the world. Sound familiar? 🧑💻🌍
They’re even comparing it to The Social Network, which is fair until you realize Mark Zuckerberg’s fashion sense is the real villain here. Either way, if this movie’s as good as the plot twists in a Reddit comment thread, we’re in for a wild ride. 🚀
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2025-09-02 17:29