🤑 Trump Clan’s Crypto Caper: $1.3B Windfall, But There’s a Snag! 🚀

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A New Trump Fortune? Oh, *Coins*!

In the blink of an eye (or a particularly wild tweet), the Trump family has magicked nearly $1.3 billion out of thin air-or rather, out of two crypto ventures so fledgling they’re practically still in nappies. 🍼✨

According to a Bloomberg report (which, let’s face it, probably had to fact-check itself three times), the family’s net worth now sits at a cool $7.7 billion. Their crypto haul? Rivaling the value of Mar-a-Lago and Trump Tower. Because nothing says “stable investment” like digital coins and a golf resort. ⛳💰

Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump-still at the helm of the Trump Organization, because why fix what ain’t broke?-have become the faces of this digital gold rush, alongside their younger brother Barron, who’s probably just happy to be included. 👨‍👦‍👦💻

WLFI’s trading launch and a corporate deal added a tidy $670 million to the family coffers, while Eric Trump’s stake in ABTC surged past $500 million. Because nothing screams “financial genius” like betting on something you can’t hold in your hand. 🖐️❌

WLFI: Blacklists, Deals, and Promises Thicker Than a Trolloc’s Neck

WLFI has become the family’s golden goose… but not without a side of controversy, naturally. 🍿

The native token project has faced backlash after freezing 272 wallets, including those of Polygon [POL] developer Bruno Skvorc and TRON [TRX] founder Justin Sun. Because nothing says “trust us” like locking up your mates’ money. 🔒😬

Critics claim its compliance tools are overzealous, while WLFI insists the blacklists are to protect users from scams. Sure, Jan. 🧐

Meanwhile, WLFI’s $1.5 billion deal with Alt5 Sigma helped push the Trumps’ gains to $670 million. Still, their 22.5 billion WLFI tokens (valued at roughly $4 billion) remain locked, because even crypto fortunes need a good ol’ fashioned time-out. ⏳🔒

American Bitcoin’s Billion-Dollar Debut: Because Why Not?

American Bitcoin burst onto the scene just two months after Donald Trump took office, with Eric and Donald Jr. backing the venture. Because what’s a presidency without a side hustle? 🏛️💼

Instead of building costly mining operations, the project partnered with Hut 8 Corp., which provided its equipment in exchange for a controlling stake. Because why do the hard work when you can just… not? 🤷♂️

ABTC went public through a merger with Gryphon Digital Mining, which adopted its name and ticker. Because nothing says “legitimacy” like a corporate reshuffle. 📈📝

Eric Trump now holds about 7.5% of the company (a stake that briefly touched $1 billion during its debut), while Donald Jr. owns a smaller, undisclosed share. Eric, ever the humble one, called himself a “great spokesperson” for the crypto push. Sure, mate. We’ll just leave that there. 🎤🤡

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2025-09-08 17:15