SEC Chief Gary Gensler: The Man Who Lost 1,500 Texts and Maybe His Mind 🤔

Well, folks, in a development that shocks absolutely no one-except perhaps the people who still believe smartphones are just for making calls-the Republican House Majority Whip has declared that Gary Gensler might go down as the worst SEC chair in history. And honestly? It’s starting to feel like he’s competing in an Olympic event called “How to Be Awful at Your Job While Also Losing Data.” 🥇

Tom Emmer, speaking to Breitbart News on Tuesday, accused Gensler of engaging in behavior so questionable it makes you wonder if his middle name is “Cover-Up.” According to Emmer, Gensler wasn’t just being sneaky; he was allegedly orchestrating some kind of masterclass in opacity-a performance so opaque even light struggled to escape its gravitational pull.

Gary Gensler might go down as the worst SEC chair in history.

The loss of nearly a year’s worth of text messages during his tenure is just another example of the less-than-honest behavior that marked the Biden administration.

– Tom Emmer (@GOPMajorityWhip) September 9, 2025

Ah yes, the infamous Missing Message Scandal™. It turns out the SEC’s IT department made a small mistake-emphasis on *small* because apparently wiping an entire year’s worth of texts from a government-issued phone is what we in the industry call “an oopsie.” 😬 The SEC watchdog report revealed this little snafu happened due to poor change management, inadequate backups, ignored system alerts, and unaddressed vendor software flaws. In layman’s terms? They dropped the ball harder than a toddler trying to juggle watermelons.

But wait, there’s more! Around 1,500 messages were somehow recovered, with about 38% relating to critical SEC actions, including crypto enforcement and lawsuits against digital asset platforms. Emmer described this as “just more fuel for the fire,” implying that Gensler was running his own personal circus where transparency was the clown everyone laughed at but never took seriously.

“I would argue that he was less than honest all the way through and this, this just smells. It smells when they talked about wanting to have a transparent, open-door policy. There’s nothing transparent about what that guy was doing.”

And then came the kicker: Emmer concluded that the Trump administration is busy undoing “all of this garbage” left behind by the previous four years. He also referred to Gensler as “one of the worst bureaucrats that I’ve ever dealt with,” which is saying something considering bureaucracy often feels like standing in line at the DMV while holding a malfunctioning calculator.

Meanwhile, irony decided to crash the party. During the exact same period those messages vanished (October 2022 to September 2023), the SEC cracked down hard on banks and financial institutions for using messaging apps improperly. Barclays, Bank of America, Citigroup, and others got slapped with charges for violating record-keeping laws. Gensler himself said:

“Finance, ultimately, depends on trust. By failing to honor their recordkeeping and books-and-records obligations, the market participants we have charged today have failed to maintain that trust.”

So let’s recap: Gensler’s team loses thousands of texts, yet he’s out here lecturing Wall Street about trust. If hypocrisy were an Olympic sport, Team USA would win gold. 🏅

In conclusion, Gary Gensler may or may not be the worst SEC chair in history, but he’s certainly giving us plenty of material for late-night comedy shows. Stay tuned, dear readers, because if this saga teaches us anything, it’s that bureaucracy can always find new ways to surprise us-and not in a good way. 🎭

2025-09-10 10:52

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