Bitcoin vs. Signal: A Whimsical War for Privacy!

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Oh, what a peculiar tale! Several sneaky Bitcoiners, including the ever-chatty Jack Dorsey, have launched a grand campaign called “Bitcoin for Signal,” hoping to sprinkle their digital gold into the cozy, encrypted nook of Signal. 🧙‍♂️💸

“@Signalapp should use Bitcoin,” Dorsey quipped, retweeting a post from the enigmatic Cashu, who’s as mysterious as a chocolate factory with a secret recipe. 🍫

The “Bitcoin for Signal” gang wants to weave Bitcoin into Signal’s fabric using Cashu’s “Chaumian Ecash” – a fancy term for making Bitcoin payments as private as a secret squirrel’s stash. 🐿️

“Bitcoin belongs in Signal. Cashu ecash enables truly private Bitcoin payments inside the world’s most trusted encryption messenger,” claims the website, which sounds like a fairy tale with a twist of blockchain. 🧙‍♀️

Even Bitcoin developer Peter Todd, who’s as grumpy as a bear with a sore head, has joined the chorus. “I’ve been wanting to try MobileCoin. But it’s such a failure I can’t even buy any. Signal App needs to accept reality and just add Bitcoin support,” he grumbled. 🐻

Signal tried MobileCoin in 2021, but it’s as centralized as a one-way street – and just as exciting. 🚗

Calle and Pavol Rusnak, two more Bitcoin enthusiasts with more enthusiasm than sense, also cheered on the cause. 🎉

With 70 million users, Signal could become a bustling marketplace for Bitcoin – if only it weren’t so busy being a privacy fortress. 🏰

Dorsey, ever the visionary, insists Bitcoin will fail if it’s just a “store of value” – like a treasure chest full of shiny coins but no adventures. 🏴‍☠️

Bitcoin wasn’t built to be a privacy solution, critics argue

But hold your horses! Some folks say Bitcoin is as private as a transparent window – and that’s not ideal for a chat app. 🪟

“Jack, why use a fully public blockchain for a privacy chat?” asked José Pedro Sousa, who clearly needs a lesson in subtlety. 🤭

Techlore, a group as serious as a straight-faced clown, warned that Bitcoin might turn Signal into a giant, leaky bucket. 🧺

Others suggested Monero and Zcash, which are as private as a locked diary. 📖

While Cashu tries to make Bitcoin stealthy, it’s like trying to sneak a elephant into a teacup. 🐘

EU almost ended private messaging this week

Meanwhile, the EU tried to pass a silly rule called “Chat Control,” which would force apps like Signal to spy on users – like a nosy neighbor with a magnifying glass. 🔍

Germany, ever the brave knight, refused to play along, calling the rule as unconstitutional as a cake without frosting. 🍰

The vote was postponed, but the battle for privacy rages on – and it’s as thrilling as a chocolate factory with a twist. 🍫

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2025-10-17 04:21