Bitcoin’s latest surge? Let me guess-some genius said “buy the dip” and suddenly everyone forgot how to think. At $107,200, it’s like the market’s trying to tell us, “Hey, remember when we weren’t all broke?” Meanwhile, it hit a weekly low of $103,660. Wow, that’s a rebound. Or is it just a dead cat bouncing off a ledge? 🐱
The “rally” dragged along Dash, Morpho, Bittensor, and Aster-cryptos that sound like they belong in a sci-fi novel. All gained 8% in 24 hours. Congrats, I guess? Maybe they’re just desperate for attention. 🤷
- Investors are “buying the dip” after a crypto crash earlier this month. Because nothing says “cautious” like throwing money at a sinking ship.
- Markets are glued to Trump’s APEC summit meet-cute with Xi. Meanwhile, Bessent will chat with Le Lifeng in Malaysia. Let’s see, diplomacy or a reality TV fight? 🤞
- If the U.S. and China “de-escalate,” maybe inflation will magically disappear and the Fed will keep cutting rates. Because why not? It’s not like markets need stability. 🎢
Bitcoin and the “Buy the Dip” Circus
So, why’s Bitcoin up? Oh right, because investors forgot that crypto is a dumpster fire. Tokens plunged 20% from their peak this month. But hey, a “bear market” is just a fancy word for “we’re all losing money.”
The U.S. and China might chill before Trump’s APEC meet-and-greet. Big whoop. Let’s celebrate by not starting a trade war… again. 🤬
Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, after clashing with Li Chenggang, now chats with He Lifeng in Malaysia. Their love letters must be 100 pages long. Meanwhile, China’s tariffs on U.S. exports hit 32%. Because who *wouldn’t* want to pay 32% more for soybeans? 🥤
This evening, Vice Premier He Lifeng and I had “frank and detailed discussions” about trade.
We’ll meet in-person next week to continue our talks.
– Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent (@SecScottBessent) October 18, 2025
China also plans to restrict rare earth exports, which the U.S. relies on for 80% of its manufacturing. Great, now my phone’s gonna die. And they’re banning Nvidia chips? Good luck with that. 🚫📱
Trump’s 130% tariff threat on Chinese goods? Please. It’s like he’s trying to out-scare a toddler with a balloon animal. 🐘
Is This Rally Real or Just a Dead-Cat Bounce?
Bloomberg says China called rare earth controls a response to “U.S. provocations.” Oh, now it’s a *provocation* to sanction their blacklisted companies? How dramatic. 🎭
The crypto rally? A classic dead-cat bounce (DCB). You know, when a falling asset fakes a comeback just to fall harder. Like Bitcoin last week-rebounded after a crash, then plummeted again. Congrats, you dodged a bullet… only to get shot in the foot. 😒
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2025-10-18 16:02