Altcoins? Seriously?

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Okay, so apparently the CPI number was…less bad than people thought? 3.0% instead of 3.1%. Big whoop. 🙄 Anyway, now the “crypto whales” – you know, the people who actually know what’s going on (unlike me) – are shuffling money around. It’s ridiculous.

They’re “quietly rotating” into a few coins. Quietly. Like it’s a secret. Please. Everyone’s doing it. It’s like when everyone pretends they weren’t playing Wordle.

Pepe (PEPE)

Pepe. A frog. People are putting their money into a frog. And now these whales are jumping in because the Fed might not raise rates? It’s…something. The thing is up 6% this week. Six percent! It’s like finding a parking spot in Manhattan. A miracle.

They bought, like, 0.38 trillion of them, worth $2.7 million. $2.7 million on a frog coin. I tell ya. And they think this is a good move because there’s a “98% probability” of a rate cut. 98%! Like anyone actually knows that. They just make these numbers up, don’t they? 🤪

Want more of this…insight? Sign up for some guy’s newsletter. I have no idea who he is.

Apparently, it’s in a “symmetrical triangle.” I don’t even know what that means. Sounds stressful. If it goes above $0.0000072, it could go to $0.0000079. See? Huge gains. Or not. It’s crypto.

They are talking about EMA’s and pushing lines around. A “golden crossover”. Honestly, it’s exhausting just hearing about it. It’s like a Rorschach test for people who wear too much black.

But, yeah, it’s volatile. It could go down. Naturally. And then everyone will panic. Like always. But for now, the whales are apparently buying. Go figure.

PancakeSwap (CAKE)

PancakeSwap. Sounds delicious, but it’s another one of these things. “DeFi,” they call it. Whatever. The whales are in. They got 10.18 million more CAKE. That’s $27.3 million. So much money. For…cake. 🤦

They formed a “higher low” and some other mumbo jumbo. RSI…what is RSI? It’s like they make up a new term every five minutes. There’s a resistance at $2.72. If it breaks that, it could go to $3.45. Or not. It’s a coin, for crying out loud.

But if it goes down to $2.27 it could all be a disaster. And it goes down. It always goes down eventually.

Apparently, it’s stable. If you call spending $27.3 million on what is essentially digital tokens “stable”. Seriously.

World Liberty Financial (WLFI)

And finally, this one… World Liberty Financial. A “politically charged token” tied to…Trump? 🤯 Oh, boy. Of course. The whales are piling in. 18.78% more. That’s $1.57 million. I’m starting to feel seasick.

It’s all about a potential meeting between Trump and Xi. See? Politics. It always comes back to politics. They make decisions based on political events?! It’s insane.

Another “bullish divergence”. More lines. More jargon. If it breaks $0.14, it could go to $0.15. Wow. Groundbreaking.

But it could just as easily go down to $0.11. Because that’s how this whole thing works. Honestly, you’re better off investing in a good deli. At least you can eat a deli sandwich.

So there you have it. Whales. Frogs. Cake. And Trump. The future of finance. Don’t ask me. I’m just here to complain about it.

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2025-10-25 14:18