Darling, our dear Mr. Newton, an eminent analyst with enough charts to make a fortune-teller blush, insists the crypto market’s peak is still playing hard to get. No signals, no sir-just a lot of noise from the usual prophets of doom and gloom.
Nope, crypto’s not peaking-According to Sir Markus the Wise
Apparently, the technical gurus-who in most circles are mistaken for fortune-tellers-are crying wolf, but our hero Mark Newton, who’s seen more candles than a fancy shop, points out that Bitcoin (BTC) and Ethereum (ETH) are still climbing that bullish ladder. His army of 110,000 followers on X (formerly known as Twitter, or just the place where everyone yells into the void) is being told to hold tight, not panic, and definitely not sell their grandma’s jewelry just yet.
“We’ve heard countless warnings from the prophets of gloom, yet I say-no peak is in sight! The Elliott-wave structure remains as unspoiled as a debutante at her first ball. The DeMark signals? Still playing hard to get. The MACD? Oh, it’s just having a little nap, darling,”
– Mark Newton CMT (@MarkNewtonCMT) October 31, 2025
Newton, our financial Merlin, assures us that the classical Elliott Waves, those fractal little blighters, are just flirting with us, not announcing the grand finale. The DeMark indicators? Still hinting at a possible trend reversal-like a flirty wink across the jargon-filled ballroom. And the MACD, well, it’s been napping in a sideways channel-perfectly harmless.
The “higher lows” trend? Unbroke since the chaos of Q4 2022 when FTX threw a party nobody wanted to attend. So, let’s not pack our bags just yet!
Bitcoin’s over $110K, yet everyone’s still clutching their pearls
Despite Bitcoin sashaying back above $110,000 (a tidy 0.43% bump in a day-how appropriate), the market sentiment is shivering in its boots, sitting at a cautious 33/100 in the fear zone. It’s a delightful cocktail of frustration and impatience, brought on by four months of tepid performance, akin to waiting in line for a punchline that never arrives.
Ethereum? Oh, she’s strutting at $3,880-up overnight, naturellement. But between you and me, until the market completely recovers from that wicked October crash, we’re still in the “wait and see” zone, nibbling on canapés of doubt and gin of speculation.
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2025-11-01 16:00