Bitcoin Trembles as Socialist Santa Mamdani Promises Coal to Billionaires 🎅💰

Ah, the prediction market, that fickle oracle of the masses, has crowned Zohran Mamdani with a 93% chance of becoming New York City’s next mayor. 🏛️✨

Bitcoin Stumbles as Traders Whimper Over Mamdani’s Socialist Specter 👻💸

Behold, the Democratic socialist Zohran Mamdani, a man with dreams as grand as his tax plans, is poised to seize the throne of New York City, according to Polymarket. And the bitcoin traders? They’re clutching their digital pearls like grandmas at a punk rock concert. 🎸💔 The 34-year-old Ugandan-born New Yorker has vowed to raise taxes higher than a stoner’s hopes and set a $30 minimum wage, policies that have the wealthy and corporations quaking in their bespoke loafers. Overnight, bitcoin took a nosedive, hitting $105K before clawing back to $107K, as the reality of a socialist mayor in the heart of capitalism set in. 😱🤑

(Mamdani has led the polls since June, but with election day less than 24 hours away, the specter of socialism has finally spooked the traders. / Polymarket)

Mamdani’s rise to prominence began in June 2025, when he toppled the once-mighty Andrew Cuomo in the Democratic Party primary. Cuomo, a political relic with a scandal-tainted past, attempted a comeback after resigning in 2021 over sexual harassment allegations. But Mamdani, the young socialist Muslim and hip-hop artist, had other plans. Now, Cuomo’s running as an independent, but prediction markets like Polymarket and Kalshi say he’s toast. 🍞🔥 Barring a miracle, Mamdani’s set to hand Cuomo his second defeat in six months. Ouch. 😬

Mamdani’s promises? Government-owned grocery stores, rent freezes, and free public transit. In New York City. The very heart of global capitalism. It’s like serving kale at a steakhouse. 🥗🥩 Whether he’ll follow through is anyone’s guess, but the markets are already treating his victory like a corporate funeral. Hence, bitcoin’s price action today. 📉💼

“I don’t think we should have billionaires,” Mamdani declared on NBC, his voice dripping with revolutionary fervor. “Because, frankly, it’s too much money in a time of such inequality. We need equality, not oligarchs.” 🌍⚖️

Market Metrics: A Tale of Woe and Volatility

Bitcoin was trading at $106,963.59 at the time of reporting, a 2.87% decline over 24 hours and a 7.01% retreat since last week, according to Coinmarketcap. The cryptocurrency’s price swung between $105,336.36 and $110,764.92, like a pendulum of panic. 🌪️📉

Trading volume surged 104.22% to $68.24 billion, thanks to Sunday’s unusually low activity. Bitcoin’s market cap fell to $2.13 trillion, but its dominance jumped to 60.70%, a 1.26% increase. Altcoins? They’re crying in the corner. 😭🪙

Open interest in bitcoin futures fell 0.48% to $70.02 billion, while liquidations hit $315.90 million. Long investors lost $298.34 million, caught off guard by the price drop. Short sellers? They lost $17.56 million. Oops. 😅💸

FAQ ⚡

Why did Bitcoin drop below $107K?
Traders panicked over Mamdani’s 93% odds of winning, viewing his agenda as a capitalist’s nightmare. 🌧️💼
Who is Zohran Mamdani?
A 34-year-old Ugandan-born socialist from Manhattan, promising higher taxes, rent freezes, and free rides. 🚇🎟️
How are prediction markets positioning?
Polymarket and Kalshi say Mamdani’s got this in the bag. Cuomo’s toast. 🍞🔥
What does this mean for investors?
A Mamdani win could spark short-term risk aversion in crypto and finance. Buckle up. 🎢💎

2025-11-04 00:31

Bitcoin Stumbles as Traders Whimper Over Mamdani’s Socialist Specter 👻💸

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