BTC Plummets To $87K If Not For High-Low Trendline 🐳💥 #CryptoCrashChronicles

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Ah, here we are again. Bitcoin’s latest midlife crisis is now in full swing, thanks to crypto whales-who move more BTC in a day than most people earn in a decade-and chart patterns that look like a toddler’s crayon tantrum. October went out in a blaze of glory (or embarrassment), closing red for the first time in seven years, which is like your savings account finally giving up on you. Let’s just say this bearish drama is only getting started, and the finale will require everyone’s emotional-support Fibonacci levels. 🐆

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High-Low Trendline: The Last Velvet Rope

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The current Bitcoin malaise began after August’s all-time high, which was so over the top, it felt like a crypto Elon Musk: it had to come crashing back down. Now, the price is doing the Washington Monument shuffle-tumbling downward one step at a time. Analysts are all gaga over a familiar 2025 drama: a fractal formed after Bitcoin broke its “higher low” trendline. You know, the one that’s been holding strong since that infamous October 10 flash crash. Honestly, it’s like expecting your neighbor Jane to split her PTA contributions three different ways just to even out a mortgage crisis. 🏦

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Should this trendline break, well, crypto might as well start teaching your goldfish financial literacy. TradingShot, the oracle of crypto, says we could be looking at a 32% freefall-a nosedive that would drop BTC to $87,000 (which, coincidentally, is about the price of a modest island if you ignore climate change). If this happens, the market will be screaming, “Not again! I just saved up for a new comically oversized crypto mug!” 👀

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October’s Missing “Red” Button

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History is waving at us with a neon sign: “BUY THE DIP?” Don’t. Every time Bitcoin closes October red, November turns into a crypto version of a Monday sale at the Ethan Allen Furniture Polish Outlet. The last time this happened (spoiler: 2018), prices dropped 36.4% before people realized they’d been lied to. Now, with whales dumping BTC like last season’s gym membership, the future looks less “new moon tarot” and more “I just lost my job and my Wi-Fi.” 💸

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So, if you’re holding BTC, brace for a trip below $100,000. It’s going to be, as Churchill said (or Taylor Swift’s therapist), “the worst of times, it’s the worst of times.” But hey, maybe November will bring a “callback” we can enjoy while we sip coffee and read about it on DuckDuckGo. Coffee? Or maybe that’s just my hype. ☕

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BTC Plummets To $87K If Not For High-Low Trendline 🐳💥 #CryptoCrashChroniclesBTC Plummets To $87K If Not For High-Low Trendline 🐳💥 #CryptoCrashChronicles

Ah, here we are again. Bitcoin’s latest midlife crisis is now in full swing, thanks to crypto whales-who move more BTC in a day than most people earn in a decade-and chart patterns that look like a toddler’s crayon tantrum. October went out in a blaze of glory (or embarrassment), closing red for the first time in seven years, which is like your savings account finally giving up on you. Let’s just say this bearish drama is only getting started, and the finale will require everyone’s emotional-support Fibonacci levels. 🐆

High-Low Trendline: The Last Velvet Rope

The current Bitcoin malaise began after August’s all-time high, which was so over the top, it felt like a crypto Elon Musk: it had to come crashing back down. Now, the price is doing the Washington Monument shuffle-tumbling downward one step at a time. Analysts are all gaga over a familiar 2025 drama: a fractal formed after Bitcoin broke its “higher low” trendline. You know, the one that’s been holding strong since that infamous October 10 flash crash. Honestly, it’s like expecting your neighbor Jane to split her PTA contributions three different ways just to even out a mortgage crisis. 🏦

Should this trendline break, well, crypto might as well start teaching your goldfish financial literacy. TradingShot, the oracle of crypto, says we could be looking at a 32% freefall-a nosedive that would drop BTC to $87,000 (which, coincidentally, is about the price of a modest island if you ignore climate change). If this happens, the market will be screaming, “Not again! I just saved up for a new comically oversized crypto mug!” 👀

October’s Missing “Red” Button

History is waving at us with a neon sign: “BUY THE DIP?” Don’t. Every time Bitcoin closes October red, November turns into a crypto version of a Monday sale at the Ethan Allen Furniture Polish Outlet. The last time this happened (spoiler: 2018), prices dropped 36.4% before people realized they’d been lied to. Now, with whales dumping BTC like last season’s gym membership, the future looks less “new moon tarot” and more “I just lost my job and my Wi-Fi.” 💸

So, if you’re holding BTC, brace for a trip below $100,000. It’s going to be, as Churchill said (or Taylor Swift’s therapist), “the worst of times, it’s the worst of times.” But hey, maybe November will bring a “callback” we can enjoy while we sip coffee and read about it on DuckDuckGo. Coffee? Or maybe that’s just my hype. ☕

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2025-11-06 11:50