Bitcoin ETFs Vanish Faster Than My Last Diet-$2B Gone in a Blink! 😂

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Hold onto your hats, folks! US spot Bitcoin ETFs just took a nosedive, bleeding over $2 billion faster than a soap opera divorce. That’s right, it’s the second-worst outflow streak ever-faster than your aunt’s Thanksgiving turkey plunge! 🍗💸

On Wednesday alone, they knocked out another $137 million, making it six days in a row of dropping faster than my ex’s IQ during a debate. According to Farside data (yes, the same folks who predicted your last bad hair day), the streak kicked off on October 29, and it’s now erased more than $2.04 billion-bye-bye, money! The Sunday special was Tuesday, with a staggering $566 million pulling out faster than your favorite restaurant at closing time. Prior sessions? A modest $470 million, $488 million, and a humble $191 million-because who needs stability, right? 🙃

Image of chaos

Ethereum ETFs also throwing a tantrum-$118.5 million gone, poof! 💨

Meanwhile, Ether (ETH) decided to join the fun with another $118.5 million fleeing the scene. BlackRock’s ETHA led the pink slip parade with $146.6 million, while Bitwise’s ETHW and VanEck’s ETHV played it cool-no mass exodus there. Six days of redemptions, nearly $1.2 billion vanished faster than my patience during tax season. But don’t worry-total inflows are still over $13.9 billion because, hey, who doesn’t love a little drama? 💼🔥

Now, Solana (SOL) is the overachiever, attracting $9.7 million for the seventh day straight. That’s almost a million a day-talk about a streak! Since launch, Solana has scooped up $294 million, proving some blockchains are clingier than dad’s old shirt. 👕

Supreme Court’s Tariff Tango-Oh, The Uncertainty! 🎭

The US Supreme Court has started the drama about tariffs-like a reality show but with more wigs and fewer bikinis! Justices seem skeptical about Trump’s big trade powers, but don’t get too comfortable-analysts say the ruling might not actually end all tariff troubles. Think of it like a bad soap opera-you keep watching, but you’re not sure what’s real anymore. If tariffs get nixed, rates could fall to 6.5%, giving the economy a tiny, shaky breath of relief. Or, as Bitunix puts it, that might just deepen the fiscal panic-no big deal. 😅

Meanwhile, the dollar’s doing its safe haven dance-rising like my blood pressure during a market crash-while Bitcoin wobbles near $100,000, feeling more volatile than a cat on a hot tin roof. Who said finance was boring? Not me! 🚀💰

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2025-11-06 12:30