Kraken Says: Chill Out About the IPO 🙄

by

So, Kraken, that cryptocurrency exchange? Apparently, they’re not exactly clamoring to list on the US stock market. Like, at all. They’ve got cash, you see. Imagine! A company with enough money not to…need more money. It’s practically revolutionary. They’re “financially sound,” according to co-CEO Arjun Sethi, which feels a bit like a doctor telling you you’re “generally healthy” while wincing at your X-ray.

Five hundred and thirty million dollars since 2011, including a recent $500 million injection that valued them at $15 billion. Fifteen billion. That’s enough money to buy a small island nation, or at least a really nice collection of Beanie Babies. Sethi insists they aren’t “racing to the door,” stating, with a level of restraint most of us can only dream of, “We don’t race to the door as quickly as possible.” As if anyone actually races to the door. Unless it’s Black Friday at Bed Bath & Beyond, maybe.

Company Says It Has Plenty Of Capital (No Really, Plenty)

Apparently, other crypto companies are out there, gleefully lining up to be publicly humiliated by market fluctuations. But Kraken? They’re taking the scenic route. “We won’t rush things up just because peers are going public,” said Sethi to Yahoo Finance. It’s the financial equivalent of watching your friends jump into a cold lake while you remain comfortably on the shore avec a hot beverage ☕.

A Wave Of Crypto Listings Has Shifted Investor Views (Or Maybe Just Confused Them)

Circle’s IPO was a rollercoaster – up 160%, then WAY up, then…well, back down. It’s the kind of performance that would give my grandmother heart palpitations. Grayscale, Gemini, Bullish, eToro, even BitGo, all wanting a piece of the public pie. It’s starting to feel like a very crowded table.

Sethi believes these early IPOs are, helpfully, “educating investors” about the wild world of crypto margins. Which is a polite way of saying, “They’re figuring out who’s emperor with no clothes.”

Clues On Profitability (Or Maybe Just Smoke and Mirrors)

And then Bitcoin decided to have a little tantrum. Down 4% in a day! It’s like a teenager who doesn’t get the new iPhone. 📉 Crypto stocks followed suit, sinking faster than my motivation on a Monday morning. The Crypto Fear & Greed Index hit a seven-month low. Honestly, it’s a wonder anyone is still investing in this stuff.

But Kraken? They’re unimpressed. Sethi is adamant that the “long-term thesis” is what matters, not a little short-term wobble. A “steady risk management” approach. Really. It’s as if he’s personally immune to the stress of watching millions evaporate.

No Rush Despite Policy Signals And Peer Listings

Trump’s friendlier regulations and a slightly less awful market are prompting others to go public. But Kraken’s leadership is all, “Nah, we’re good.” Bloomberg suggested a 2026 IPO, but Sethi pooh-poohs any suggestion of FOMO. “FOMO.” The horror! Apparently, prioritizing careful deliberation is still a thing. Who knew? 🤷

 

Read More

2025-11-15 03:19