Kiyosaki’s Cash Crunch Confessions: Bitcoin, Gold & Clowns 🤡💰

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Robert Kiyosaki, latter-day prophet of fiscal sagas and author of that riches-riddled tome Rich Dad Poor Dad, has scrawled hurried thoughts to his 2.8 million flock on X: no Bitcoin or gold will escape his clutch, even as markets waltz into the abyss like drunkards at a masquerade.

“The everything bubbles are bursting,” he intoned on Saturday, a bard of chaos, adding that the true cause of the crash lies not in luck or karma but in a “global cash shortage.” As though the world’s arteries had constricted, and funds, all sweet funds, gushed into the void. “The cause of all markets crashing is the world is in need of cash,” he explained-because of course, nothing says ”economic apocalypse” like needing loose change for the tiniest things.

Kiyosaki, channeling the ghost of Lawrence Lepard, prophesies “The Big Print”-a deluge of currency creation so vast it could drown a small country. “The Bug Print is about to begin…” he declared, breathless, assuring us gold, silver, Bitcoin, and Ethereum would shimmer brighter as “fake money crashes.” A noble stance, or the ramblings of a man who once profited from board games?

A Cashflow Club for Desperate Souls

If markets are winter, Kiyosaki’s pitch for “Cashflow Clubs” is a debilitating snowstorm. “Join the clubs. Learn together,” he urged, as if gathering in boardrooms with a baffled frown could outwit inflation. Meanwhile, the Bitcoin Fear and Greed Index nose-dived to 16-an abysmal score that must’ve made Hester Prynne blush.

Bitcoin’s Bottom: A Social Media Parlor Trick?

Santiment, ever the blunt economist, scoffs at tweets claiming Bitcoin has “bottomed.” They note history’s favorite joke: the “floor” always appears after the floor falls out. Just as Friday’s $95k dip sparked a chorus of “WELL DONE, MARKET!”-cue Santiment’s grim reminder that markets love a razzle-dazzle before the plunge.

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2025-11-15 13:49