Bitcoin’s Wild Ride to $400K?! You Won’t Believe This Crypto Comedy

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Welcome to the Bitcoin market-aka the world’s longest rollercoaster with no seatbelts, no refunds, and everyone screaming in different languages. This past week, our beloved digital coin took another 10% nosedive, plummeting to around $80,800. Then it bounced back a little, like a cartoon character who just got flattened by an anvil. 🪙💥😵

Right now, Bitcoin is sitting about 32.79% below its all-time high, which has investors distributing their coins faster than someone passing around hot latkes. But wait! Enter Gert Van Lagen, an analyst who claims there’s a trend pointing to a glorious comeback. Yes, folks, there’s hope-because apparently charts from 2009 say so. 📈✨

Post-Halving Shenanigans: The Bull Returns (Maybe) 🐂

On November 21, Van Lagen jumped onto X (the platform formerly known as Twitter, not a superhero franchise… yet) and declared that Bitcoin’s historical behavior suggests a fresh bull run. He referenced a long-term logarithmic chart-which is fancy talk for “really big graph”-showing Bitcoin climbing through a magical regression channel since 2009. Sounds scientific, right? 🧐

According to this guy, after every halving, Bitcoin shoots above the midline of that channel, then rockets into a “blow-off top” – basically a crypto firework show like we saw in 2013, 2017, and 2021. Boom! 🎆

At the moment, BTC is lurking just below that midline like it’s waiting to sneak into a comedy club without paying cover. The weird part? It’s been rejected three times-kind of like my audition for a musical-only to bounce off the 0.382 Fibonacci retracement line. Fibonacci… wasn’t he a lounge singer? 🤷‍♂️🎤

Still, Van Lagen expects Bitcoin to finally break above that stubborn midline. And if it does? He predicts a jump to somewhere between $350,000 and $400,000. Yes. FOUR. HUNDRED. THOUSAND. Dollars. Cue dramatic gasp. 😱💰

The “Real” Bear Market (Dun Dun Dunnn) 🐻

But hold on to your funny bones! Van Lagen warns that the TRUE bear market only begins after Bitcoin hits that monster peak. That’s when it will supposedly crash all the way down to retest the lower trend line-like a slapstick pratfall off a very tall stage. 🎭😂

As of this moment, Bitcoin is sitting around $84,300 after another 2.36% dip. Over the past month, it’s down nearly 22%. In other words: it’s volatile, unpredictable, and possibly auditioning for the lead role in a tragicomedy. 🎬🤡

So buckle up, hodlers. It’s gonna be a bumpy, hilarious ride. And remember: in crypto, timing is everything-just like comedy. 😉

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2025-11-23 03:06