Binance’s Crypto Chaos: Terror Funds & Trump Pardons! 😱

Hold onto your wallets, folks! šŸ¤‘ Victims of the October 7 attacks have dragged Binance and its founder, Changpeng “CZ” Zhao, into court, accusing them of playing financial footsie with terrorist groups like Hamas and Hezbollah. Talk about bad PR!

The lawsuit claims Binance let over $50 million slip through its digital fingers-because nothing says “responsible banking” like funding chaos, right? šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø

Binance: The Unofficial ATM for Terrorists šŸ’ø

Yep, Binance and CZ-now starring in their very own legal drama-are accused of turning crypto into terror fuel. The plaintiffs? A whopping 306 Americans (and their ghostly estates) who got caught in the crossfire. Filed in North Dakota (because why not?), the suit alleges Binance moved over $1 billion, including post-October 7 “donations” to Hamas & Co. šŸŽ­

The defendants? Binance Holdings, CZ (who’s already done a four-month prison cameo šŸŽ¬), and Guangying “Heina” Chen-Binance’s alleged money-laundering maestro. Plaintiffs want damages under the Anti-Terrorism Act, because apparently, “Oops, we didn’t check” isn’t a valid defense.

Binance’s Greatest Hits: Terror Tunes & Trump’s Mercy šŸŽ¶

According to the suit, Binance didn’t just accidentally help terrorists-they rolled out the red carpet! 🚨 “Knowingly, willfully, and systematically” assisting Hamas & friends, Binance allegedly hid hundreds of millions in transfers like a magician hiding rabbits… except way less fun. šŸŽ©

And let’s not forget Binance’s November 2023 guilty plea-a cool $4.32 billion fine for money laundering. CZ coughed up $50 million and did a short prison stint before getting pardoned by Donald Trump. Because nothing says “justice” like a presidential get-out-of-jail-free card! šŸƒ

ā€œBinance made a conscious decision not to implement standard know-your-customer or anti-money laundering programs for years… because who needs rules when you’re building a criminal empire?ā€

What Do the Plaintiffs Want? (Besides a Time Machine) ā³

They’re demanding:

  • Crypto and fiat refunds for terror groups (because receipts matter).
  • Proof Binance kept wallets open for terrorists (like a 24/7 crime buffet).
  • Admission they helped access U.S. dollars (because terrorism loves liquidity).
  • Confession they hid transfers (like a toddler with stolen cookies).
  • Compensation-triple damages, because why settle for one lawsuit when you can have three?

Binance’s response? ā€œWe comply fully with internationally recognized sanctions laws.ā€ Sure, guys. And I’m the Queen of England. šŸ‘‘

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2025-11-27 09:39