The Haunted Duel: Europe’s Banks Fight the U.S. Dollar Ghosts with a New Stablecoin

by

In a twist most bewildering, a gaggle of ten European banks-yes, ten-the very institutions we trust with our money, have conspired in the shadows of Amsterdam to forge a new entity named qivalis. Their aim? To craft a euro-pegged stablecoin-a noble, perhaps quixotic endeavor-to stand against the relentless juggernaut of American dollar dominance. One might wonder: is this a desperate act of defiance, or merely the latest chapter in Europe’s slow descent into financial despair? 😅

The motley crew includes the venerable ING, UniCredit, BNP Paribas, Raiffeisen Bank International, SEB, Danske Bank, CaixaBank, KBC, Banca Sella, and DekaBank-each one eager to carve out a fragment of the vast, incontestable market of USD tokens such as USDT and USDC, whose total value now swells beyond the 261 billion dollar colossus. Truly, a spectacle of hope-or hubris? 🤔

Coinbase Exec as CEO

To add a dash of farce, they have appointed Jan-Oliver Sell-known for his past exploits at Coinbase Germany-as the putative captain of this maritime disaster. Floris Lugt, sharp as ever, will assume the position of CFO, with Howard Davies-a man who probably dreams of banking regulations-heading the board. The plan? To woo the Dutch central bank for an Electronic Money Institution license, a process droning on for half a year or more, before launching their euro-stamped mess sometime in late 2026. Oh, the anticipation! 🎉

Meanwhile, across the Atlantic, the United States is racing ahead with its GENIUS Act, fueling the fires of dollar-backed tokens, aiming to extend American financial influence globally. America’s gamble? To keep its dollar empire alive while Europe, ever the romantic, looks to wrestle back control-however feebly-from Tether and Circle, the titanic giants of private money. 🚀

Sweden’s Report on Stablecoins

In the icy reaches of Sweden, their central bank-the Riksbank-has released an analysis more grim than a Dostoevsky novel. It warns that if common folk abandon their reliable, insured bank deposits for digital assets, chaos could ensue: higher costs for banks, stricter loan conditions, and the nightmare of mortgage rates ascending like Icarus’s flight. 🔥 The report painted a picture of fiery sales during redemption waves, issuing guarantees-oh, the tragic comedy-and the stark reality that Europe’s hope for full-reserve stablecoins is chained by the ECB’s iron fist, which permits mere operational accounts, not full-fledged reserves. How poetic. 🤡

Poland’s President Vetoed Crypto Bill

In Poland, a dramatic turn-President Karol Nawrocki vetoed a bill that could have aligned Poland with EU crypto mandates. His reasoning? A fearsome threat to civil liberties, opaque domain-blocking powers, and regulatory fees hefty enough to crush small entrepreneurs-because nothing says freedom like bureaucratic tyranny! Meanwhile, lawmakers fret that rejecting MiCA might drive crypto firms out and leave Polish consumers in the dark, like ships lost at sea without rudders or compasses. As for qivalis, the European mosaic of fractured policies continues to be a comedy of errors-though one day, perhaps, the full legal tapestry of MiCA might unfurl, bringing a fleeting hope of order amidst chaos. 🎭

Read More

2025-12-02 18:08