Grayscale Investments, in a move that’s either genius or just really good at pretending, insists bitcoin’s recent nosedive is just a “bull-market hiccup” (because, of course, losing half your life savings is merely a hiccup). They’re also predicting new highs by 2026-just in time for us to forget this ever happened.
Grayscale Says Bitcoin Might Be Done Sulking (Or Maybe Not) 🤷♀️
In a report that somehow managed to sound both confident and utterly vague, Grayscale’s research team-presumably fueled by caffeine and sheer optimism-declared that bitcoin’s recent plummet is “totally normal bull-market behavior.” Because nothing says “bull market” like watching your portfolio turn into a cautionary tale. They also hinted that bitcoin might hit new highs in 2026, assuming the world hasn’t ended by then.
The report, which reads like a horoscope for finance bros, states:
Grayscale Research does not believe bitcoin is on the cusp of a deep and prolonged cyclical drawdown (because that would require admitting they were wrong), and we expect prices to potentially make new highs next year (or possibly never, who knows?).
“Some indicators point to a short-term bottom,” Grayscale noted, “while others are still mixed-much like my feelings after three glasses of wine.” They also suggested that a Fed rate cut and “bipartisan progress” on crypto laws (ha!) could help. Because nothing screams “stable investment” like relying on politicians to agree on something.
To justify this wild optimism, Grayscale pointed out that there hasn’t been a “parabolic rally” (translation: no one’s screaming “TO THE MOON!” yet). They also mentioned institutional demand, which basically means rich people haven’t abandoned ship-yet. The report added:
There are already some signs that bitcoin and other crypto assets may have bottomed (or they’re just taking a nap before plunging further).
Of course, they also admitted that futures trading is weak, ETFs are bleeding money, and long-time holders are selling-so, you know, maybe don’t mortgage your house just yet.
Grayscale’s entire argument hinges on macroeconomics and regulation, which is like betting your life savings on a magic eight ball. A Fed rate cut might help, and “bipartisan progress” could reduce uncertainty (or, more likely, create new chaos). Either way, Grayscale insists this will “reinforce long-term demand,” which is financial-speak for “please don’t panic-sell.”
FAQ ⏰ (Because Time Is Money, and We’re All Running Out of Both)
- What key factor supports Grayscale’s view that bitcoin’s decline is just a bull-market tantrum?
They say sharp pullbacks are “normal,” which is also what I tell myself after a bad haircut. - Why does Grayscale think bitcoin could moon in 2026?
Macro shifts, institutional demand, and wishful thinking. Also, astrology. - How might a Fed rate cut help bitcoin?
Lower rates mean your savings account is worthless anyway, so why not YOLO into crypto? - What regulatory development could actually help?
If politicians stop fighting long enough to agree that crypto exists. Big “if.”
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2025-12-05 05:05