Tether’s New App: Privacy? Who Needs It! 😂

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What to know:

  • Tether just dropped QVAC Health, an app that lets you track your fitness privately-because who doesn’t want their step count hidden from Big Tech? 🤷♂️
  • Data stays locked on your device, encrypted tighter than a paranoid squirrel’s nut stash. No servers, no ads, just… silence. 🤐
  • Tether’s latest scheme? Abandoning crypto for AI, robotics, and “decentralized everything.” Next stop: intergalactic domination? 🚀

Tether, the $186 billion USDT overlords, is trading Bitcoin for band-aids with their new health app. Because nothing says “trust us” like a company that once got roasted for being a “ponzi scheme with better PR.” 🤡

Wednesday’s big reveal: QVAC Health, an app that promises to let you track your biometrics without selling your soul to Silicon Valley. Groundbreaking! Or as we like to call it, “privacy, but make it 2023.” 🧠

Users can now log their steps, sleep, and workouts-all while keeping data offline. Because apparently, your phone isn’t a server, but Tether’s app will pretend it isn’t. Clever! 🎩

“QVAC Health is our gift to privacy,” said CEO Paolo Arodino, probably while sipping a smoothie made of encrypted kale. “You shouldn’t have to trade your data for a Fitbit. We’re breaking down walls-and maybe Big Tech’s business model.” 🧨

Tether’s now doubling down on AI and decentralized tech. They’ve built QVAC, a platform where apps run on your device. Because why trust the cloud when you can trust your own laptop? (Spoiler: you shouldn’t.) ☁️🚫

Earlier this week, Tether tossed €70 million at Generative Bionics, a firm building humanoid robots. Industrial deployment next year? Let’s hope they don’t unionize. 🤖💥

And before that? Tether spent $200 million on Blackrock Neurotech, a brain-computer interface company. Because nothing says “health” like selling your brainwaves. 🧠💸

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2025-12-10 20:30