As we tiptoe into 2026, the crypto market is doing its best impression of a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat-except the rabbit is a complete mystery. Is it a bull? A bear? Or just a very confused magician?
Bitcoin, our favorite digital gold, hasn’t exactly been setting the world on fire since October’s little tantrum. The percentage of coins in profit has plummeted from 98% to 63%-which sounds less like a market and more like a garage sale. 🧹💸
The result? BTC’s NUPL (Net Unrealized Profit/Loss) is now so deep in the red it could double as a warning label. Technically speaking, this looks like a classic “capitulation” setup-except it’s acting like a teenager who’s been told to clean their room. It might not be bearish, but it’s definitely moody. 😅
Mining Shutdowns and LTH Sales: The Asian Drama Unfolds 🎭
China, ever the drama queen, has once again slammed the door on Bitcoin miners. This time, Xinjiang decided it needed more “quiet time” and yanked the plug on 1.3 GW of mining power. Poof! 400,000 rigs vanished like a magician’s assistant-except without the showmanship. 🎩🐇
Bitcoin’s hashrate took a nosedive from 1.12 billion TH/s to 1.07 billion TH/s in under a week. It’s like watching a marathon runner suddenly trip over their shoelaces-except the runner is a decentralized network and the shoelaces are Chinese regulators. 🏃♂️🪪

On-chain data? Oh, it’s a soap opera. Asian exchanges are hosting a fire sale, while long-term holders are unloading coins like expired milk. Meanwhile, U.S. ETFs are hoarding BTC like a dragon with a gold stash. It’s the crypto version of “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure”-except everyone’s holding their breath to see who blinks first. 🧾💸
Forced Selling: Miners in Distress (But Not Panic) 🚨
Bitcoin’s 2026 outlook is being written by miners who’ve suddenly realized their piggy banks are empty. With hashrate down 8%, miners are squeezing margins tighter than a budget airline seatbelt. Forced selling? More like desperate selling, honey. 🍯💸

But here’s the twist: ETFs just sucked in $457 million like a kid at a candy store. Institutions aren’t running for the exits-they’re restocking the shelves. This isn’t panic; it’s a calculated “let’s wait and see” move, like a chess player who’s just sacrificed a pawn. ♟️🍬
Final Thoughts: The Tug-of-War Begins 🪢
- Asia’s selling BTC like it’s hot potato season, while U.S. ETFs play keep-away. The Great Bitcoin Tug-of-War is on! 🥔
- Institutions aren’t done shopping. The 2026 setup? A muddy field where bulls and bears will both eat dirt. 😈
Stay tuned. Spoiler alert: The rabbit in the hat might just turn out to be a duck. 🦆
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2025-12-18 12:42