What a Scandal! Crypto News with a Dash of Humor and Sarcasm

by

SBI VC Trade Pines for Profit: Japan’s New Lending Extravaganza

Ah, the illustrious SBI Group, now formally partnered with Ripple-famous for XRP-and embarking upon a new venture in their “Rent Coin” scheme. Truly, the world of finance is never dull, especially when it involves lending crypto assets like XRP, Bitcoin, and the ever-disobedient Dogecoin, all while you sit back and pretend you’re not just throwing your money into a giant digital bonfire.🔥

  • Recruitment Fête. SBI VC Trade, a darling subsidiary of the grand SBI Holdings, has announced the commencement of another recruitment frenzy for their “Rent Coin” (Lending) service-because nothing screams sophistication like turning your idle cryptocurrencies into income, right? 💸

Launching at the peculiar hour of 20:00 JST on December 18, 2025, this service allows Londoners-well, anyone supporting 34 assets including XRP, Bitcoin, and even memetic curiosities like Dogecoin-to earn a lovely little yield, basically the cryptocurrency version of finding the last biscuit in the jar. Who wouldn’t want to make their dormant holdings work for them, instead of doing absolutely nothing? 🥱

Yet, beware! The race to lend is noted for its first-come, first-served policy, ensuring that the most popular coins-like XRP and DOT-may soon be as scarce as a decent ball gown at a royal ball, leaving latecomers on a long waiting list. Originally, in November 2020, SBI’s lending journey was humble, starting with Bitcoin loans of as little as 0.1 BTC at a modest 1% interest-how quaint, the good old days.

Shiba Inu Whale Resurrected-Hold Your Breath, or Not

In the immortal words of the meme coin community, “here we go again!” Our Coinbase-linked Shiba Inu whale-whose silence was deafening for an entire year-has finally decided to make a dramatic re-entrance by transferring a staggering 53,591,805,991 SHIB, equal to roughly $415,000, just as the coin’s value flutters about in a most unflattering manner. 🐕💥

  • The Calculated Return. This whale, once quite active, had previously moved between 1.8 billion and 109.4 billion SHIB during earlier frolics three years ago, only to vanish into the ether, leaving conspiracy theorists wondering: was this a deliberate move or merely a digital cry for attention? 🤔

In the meantime, the year 2025 has been quite the ride, with SHIB drifting downward from above $0.00002 to the depths of $0.000012-$0.000015 by spring-what a lovely long unwind, truly a masterclass in patience. Or, perhaps, in frustration. Either way, the whale’s awakening adds just the right touch of drama to an otherwise dull year. 😅

The Ethereum Whale’s Private Party Ends in Disaster

And now, for the pièce de résistance: an Ethereum whale’s multisig wallet, supposedly a fortress of crypto wealth, was drained of approximately $27.3 million after some careless private key mishap-what a hackneyed tale of misfortune! 🎭

  • Big Hack. According to PeckShieldAlert, the attacker swiftly funneled about $12.6 million-around 4,100 ETH-via Tornado Cash, leaving the victim’s wallet looking like the aftermath of a well-aimed kitchen sink splash. Meanwhile, the remaining $2 million still sits in a very conspicuous liquid state, probably wondering what went wrong. 🚰

Charming. On chain, the attacker is sending ETH in 100 ETH parcels, almost as if they’re on a mission to launder as much as possible before the curtains close. Remarkably, the hacker still controls the victim’s leveraged ETH position, which ominously hints at a wallet still very much alive, though not particularly cheerful. 🧟‍♂️

The wallet, with holdings including over 100 ETH, hundreds of thousands worth of other tokens, and a considerable ETH long position, remains a ticking time bomb-if the market sneezes, this wallet might just blow up in spectacular fashion. 💥

Read More

2025-12-20 03:40