Senator Lummis Quits? Crypto World Weeps! 😭

by

Ah, the lamentations! Such wailing and gnashing of teeth amongst the digital…enthusiasts, shall we say? It seems Senator Cynthia Lummis, a champion of those curious bits and bytes, has declared she shall not, in the year 2026, subject herself to the rigors of reelection. One almost feels a chill, doesn’t one? As if the very foundations of…well, something or other…are trembling. 🎭

This Senator Lummis, you understand, has been a most vocal proponent of these “digital assets,” a term which, frankly, sounds suspiciously like airy nothings. She has, it is said, “played a significant role” in the nation’s ongoing perplexity regarding these matters. Respect, indeed, has been bestowed upon her-mostly by those who hope to profit handsomely from this digital…frenzy.

A certain Mr. Collin McCune, from the firm a16z (a name as mysterious as the things they invest in), declared on the platform formerly known as Twitter, that without her “fight in the Congress,” crypto would be…where, exactly? Still hidden in dusty servers, perhaps? A poignant thought. One wonders if they’ll send flowers.💐

Lummis was a “great ally on crypto,” says David Sacks

Mr. Greg Xethalis, of Multicoin, offered a truly insightful observation: sometimes it takes a cattle rancher to drive good policy! Goodness gracious. It seems the world of high finance has a peculiar fondness for those acquainted with livestock. One can only speculate on the philosophical implications. Perhaps those accustomed to herding beasts are better equipped to corral the volatile spirit of the digital age. 🤔

Our esteemed Senator was, it appears, a staunch opponent of Mr. Gary Gensler, a former chairman of the SEC, a gentleman who favored a certain “regulation-by-enforcement” approach-a method as charming as a tax audit. She furthermore championed acts with names so lengthy and bureaucratic, one suspects they were deliberately designed to discourage casual reading. All in the name of clarity, naturally. 🙄

The announcement itself, viewed by almost a million souls on the aforementioned platform, revealed a rather…human truth: the Senator simply lacks “six more years” in her. She confesses to being a “sprinter in a marathon.” A profoundly apt metaphor, one might add-for the entire enterprise of chasing digital illusions. She finds the pace…tiresome.

Even within the halls of power (the White House, you know, that large building) support flowed. Mr. David Sacks (a man of considerable importance, so they say) expressed immense sadness at her departure. “Very sorry,” he lamented. One assumes he then promptly returned to more pressing matters. 💸

A Ms. Natalie Brunell, a devotee of Bitcoin (and, as it happens, the host of a program called “Coin Stories”-how inventive!), offered thanks for the Senator’s “service.” A kindly gesture, to be sure. Though one wonders if she’ll still have stories to tell once the bubbles…settle.

Crypto VC says “jobs not done” after Lummis’ announcement

But do not despair, oh ye faithful! Despite this disheartening turn of events, the tireless toilers in the crypto fields proclaim that their work is far from finished. Mr. Kyle Samani, another managing partner at Multicoin, intones that “jobs not done.” Indeed. There are still fortunes to be made. Legislation to be…persuaded.

And just as the news of the Senator’s impending departure settled, another Mr. Sacks declared the US Congress might soon consider a “landmark” bill. Called the “US Clarity Act,” no less. It seems even the specter of a retiring champion cannot halt the onward march of…progress? Or is it merely speculation? Time, as always, will tell. 🕰️

”We are closer than ever,” he proclaims. One almost suspects a touch of hyperbole, but who are we to judge? The game, after all, is afoot. A digital game, played with pixels and promises. A most peculiar spectacle, indeed.

Read More

2025-12-21 08:38