You Won’t Believe Who’s Leading the CFTC Now! 😂

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So, get this: The CFTC, which is like that over-enthusiastic neighbor who always wants to meddle in others’ business, is getting a makeover. Carolina Pham, who’s been playing musical chairs with the agency longer than I’ve stuck to any diet, finally tossed in the towel Monday. Fancy coffee date by the water cooler time is Selig’s. 🙃

Pham was kind of running the show since January, filling in as the only commissioner since August. But, guess what? Her swan song at the agency was only setting up the soundcheck for Selig to come on stage. You know, Steven’s always the guy who says it goes without saying, but only when it’s about saying he’s going somewhere cooler, like crypto. 🤓

Apparently, Selig, who used to gab about crypto with the SEC’s Crypto Task Force, got the boot from Trump for playing sheriff. Now, he’s the grand marshal at the digital asset parade. It’s like getting married to the very thing you were avoiding all these years. No surprise there! 🎉

Selig Aims to Keep Crypto on the Good Side of the Law (What a Concept!)

Selz-erm, I mean Selig-is going to stick around until 2029, promising not to be the one coming after people with a “Gotcha!” stick. He’s all about letting blockchain and crypto bloom like dandelions in my front yard. “Innovation needs space to breathe,” he said, when really he just doesn’t want another cable guy coming out when he’s in his pyjamas.

“We’re in this funny new age where everyone wants to be the next big Tech Giant, and Congress is practically tripping over themselves to prove they’re not out of touch. Senate’s about to bless this digital asset party, and we’re in, like, digital dreamland!”

On cue, White House’s so-called crypto genius David Sacks-also known as Match.com for compliance nerds-gingered the air with praise for Selig and SEC’s Atkins as the dynamic duo of regulation. Welcome to showbiz.

Pham’s Crypto Exit: Leaving the CFTC in a Shiny New Pair of Sneakers

Pham was the one who always hinted she’d make a break for it once someone else got legit appointed. Cue her leaving for MoonPay, probably with some digital reward in her virtual wallet.

During her acting gig, she tried to push for setting some rules for crypto. Because, you know, where’s the fun in chaos? Pham apparently thought it was her job to balance innovation with the whole, “Don’t step on toes” dance. She’s now cheering for Selig, who seems to be all about that innovation without the enforcement. Of course, she’s throwing in the usual, “pragmatic, common-sense approach” because that means something, right? Or maybe just because it sounds good.

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2025-12-23 07:56