Cicely LaMothe Retires, Leaving a Crypto Wonderland Trail 🚀🔶

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Cicely LaMothe, the SEC’s deputy director of Corporation Finance, has finally decided to retire after 24 years-just long enough to develop dodgy Wi-Fi memories and an impressive ability to confuse memecoins with government memos. Her tenure, filled with crypto-friendly initiatives, has left the market feeling like it just won the cosmic lottery. 🎉

  • LaMothe’s career was a masterclass in regulatory juggling-balancing 24 years of SEC bureaucracy with the delicate grace of a caffeine-powered octopus.
  • She became a legend for her staff guidance on memecoins (aka “gobbledygook-shillings”), staking frameworks, and crypto ETFs-proof that even the SEC can learn to love memes. 🎮

On December 29, LaMothe announced her retirement with the kind of poise usually reserved for fleeing a collapsing neutron star. “After all these years, I’m leaving with a sense of honor and gratitude… primarily gratitude that I’ll no longer need to pronounce ‘Proof-of-Work’ correctly under scrutiny,” she declared.

Who is Cicely LaMothe?

LaMothe, a Certified Public Accountant with the charm of a spreadsheet and the wisdom of a very old Excel file, joined the SEC in 2002 after six years in the private sector. Her early roles included managing financial reporting-a job now lost to sentient spreadsheets. 🤖

Over the years, she climbed the SEC ladder faster than a Bitcoin miner in a heatwave, becoming Acting Director of the Division of Corporation Finance. She also quietly plotted the rise of the SEC’s Office of Crypto Assets-a department that now makes sense… maybe.

Why She Matters

LaMothe was the SEC’s “crypto whisperer,” steering the agency through a labyrinth of regulations. Her infamous memecoin guidance-establishing that Dogecoin is not a security unless you meme too aggressively-was hailed as a breakthrough for the 99%. 🐕

She also cracked the staking code, explaining whose fault it is if your crypto disappears: hackers, custodians, or existential dread. Her seven staff statements were hailed as the “Crypto Taxonomy of Taxonomy,” though few understand them. 🤷

Crypto Friends Pack Up and Go

LaMothe’s retirement coincides with a mass exodus of crypto allies. Caroline Pham, the CFTC’s ex-chair, has joined MoonPay to become a “Chief Legal Officer”-a title reserved for people who still believe in crypto unicorns. 🦄

Rostin Behnam, the man who once dreamed of Congress giving him the keys to the crypto kingdom, has retired entirely. Meanwhile, Senator Lummis, the crypto goddess of Bitcoin reserves, announced she won’t re-enter the political battle of “Congressional Chess.” ♟️

With LaMothe’s departure, the SEC’s scaled-back crypto Utopia hangs delicately-like a meme coin with a 24-hour power outage. Farewell, Cicely. You’ve left us more unprepared than ever. 😧

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2025-12-30 11:39