Ripple Refuses to Go Public While Valued at $40B – Still Smiling 😎💸

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Ripple: The Cryptic Private Pony That’s Worth $40 Billion and Doesn’t Want to Play with the Public 🐴💰

Once upon a time in the mysterious land of Blockchain, there was a company called Ripple. Unlike those other over-eager startups queuing up at the IPO buffet, Ripple decided to keep its unicorn horn polished and its doors closed, thank you very much. Despite being valued at a staggering $40 billion after raising enough cash to buy a small country, Ripple insists it’s happier staying behind the velvet rope.

Apparently, raising half a billion dollars in a round that made everyone from Fortress Investment to Galaxy Digital do the happy dance was “very pleasing.” Who knew that funding could be so satisfying? Meanwhile, Ripple’s CEO, Brad Garlinghouse, is probably sitting in a hammock somewhere, chuckling about how their strategy involves acquisitions, not stock market shenanigans. They bought up Hidden Road for $1.25 billion, making them the proud new owner of a global broker that does the work of many and the sleep of few.

To mix metaphors expertly, Ripple is like that one friend who refuses to join the loud disco but still manages to dance on the rooftop with a billion dollars in their pocket. They’ve also bought GTreasury and Rail, aiming to make treasurers and payment systems so efficient that even your inefficient uncle would feel inadequate.

Meanwhile, other crypto companies like HashKey and Clear Street are busy announcing IPO plans that make Ripple look like the anti-party pooper. HashKey raised $206 million in Hong Kong, and Clear Street is eyeing a $12 billion U.S. jump into the public pool. But Ripple? Nope. It’s too busy perfecting its ninja-like acquisitions and sticking to its core mission of ‘not telling the stock market what it’s up to.’

As Garlinghouse joked about slowing down the acquisition spree in 2026 for “integration and scaling,” one can only imagine the corporate team sighing with relief. Because nothing says “growth” like buying a financial automation firm and secretly holding onto the idea that the best growth strategy is just to ignore the world’s obsession with going public. Cheers to Ripple-the company that keeps its secrets close and its valuation closer. 🍾🎉

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2026-01-07 10:30