Bitcoin Hoarders?! 🤯 U.S. Changes Its Mind

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So, this guy, Scott Bessent, goes on Fox Business – Fox Business, can you believe it? – and basically admits the government’s keeping all the Bitcoin they seize. Like, they’re not selling it anymore. It’s a “strategic reserve.” A strategic reserve of… digital money. It’s just… really something. 🙄

Key takeaways (because apparently we need everything summarized now)

  • They have a “Strategic Bitcoin Reserve.” Seriously? What’s next, a Strategic Beanie Baby Reserve?
  • They won’t buy Bitcoin. Oh no, that would be too proactive. They’ll just… keep what they take. It’s brilliant, really. Cunning.
  • Used to sell it. Now they don’t. Enormous shakeup. Monumental. You know, groundbreaking stuff.
  • They’re implicitly saying Bitcoin isn’t just pocket change. Like they didn’t realize this years ago.

Before, they’d just dump it on the market. You know, contribute to the “supply.” Now they’re holding it. It’s like they finally figured out what all the fuss is about. Or they’re just trying to look busy. It could be either one, honestly. 🤔

🇺🇸 Scott Bessent: “We’ve started a Strategic Reserve. We’re not going to be buying Bitcoin, but we’re going to be holding on to confiscated Bitcoin and not selling them.”

– Trending Bitcoin (@TrendingBitcoin)

Apparently, selling it off made people think Bitcoin was just… disposable. Like an old appliance. Can you imagine thinking Bitcoin is disposable?! It’s code! It’s…well, it’s complicated. Anyway, now they think it’s “strategic.” It’s the same Bitcoin, people! The same Bitcoin!

A shift from liquidation to preservation (whatever that means)

So now, instead of getting rid of it, they’re… safeguarding it. Like it’s the Declaration of Independence or something. It’s just… ridiculous. And yet, here we are. It avoids the whole “taxpayer money buying crypto” problem, which is good, because that would be a disaster. 🤦‍♂️

They’re tiptoeing around the whole thing. They don’t want to appear like they’re investing. They just want it to…accumulate. Because of law enforcement! It’s a loophole. A perfectly legal, government-approved loophole.

Everyone else is talking about “sovereign Bitcoin reserves,” which sounds very important and sophisticated. And the U.S. is just… holding onto what they already stole. I mean, confiscated. Confiscated. Semantics, people, semantics!

They haven’t even figured out where they’re keeping it! This is a “strategic reserve” with no plan? It’s unbelievable. But it’s a “notable departure from past silence,” apparently. Like silence was the problem! 🤷‍♀️

So, they’re not buying, but they’re not selling. They’re just… existing with Bitcoin. It’s a whole new level of passive-aggression, if you ask me.

Disclaimer: I have no idea what I’m talking about. This isn’t financial advice. Don’t sue me. Seriously.

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2026-01-08 05:59