Crypto’s Back, Darling! 🙄

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Oh, do brace yourselves. Apparently, South Korea has decided that cryptocurrency isn’t entirely the devil’s work after all. After a rather lengthy sulk – nine years, if you’re counting, and frankly, one has better things to do – they’re contemplating allowing corporations to dabble. A ‘new guidance’ they call it. Sounds terribly official, doesn’t it? As if one can ‘guide’ speculation. Really!

The Gist, For Those Who Can’t Be Bothered

  • South Korea deigns to allow corporations back into the crypto game after a decidedly frosty reception.
  • Access will be rather…controlled. Heavens, we wouldn’t want too much excitement.
  • They’re attempting to balance a market overrun by those terribly impulsive retail traders.
  • The industry is, naturally, complaining that the restrictions are frightfully stifling. 😒

This isn’t a joyous free-for-all, you understand. It’s a ‘recalibration’ – a dreadful word, that. As if one can recalibrate the whims of the market. Apparently, it all aligns with their ‘longer-term economic agenda’ heading into 2026. One suspects a bit of bandwagoning is involved.

Who’s Invited – and How Little They Can Play With

Rather than an open invitation, it’s a rather selective guest list. Only companies listed on the exchange and professional investors need apply. And they won’t be getting away with anything adventurous. Their crypto ‘exposure’ will be most rigorously monitored. Imagine!

They’ll be limited to a teensy-weensy portion of their balance sheet, mind you, and restricted to the most…well, the most approved cryptocurrencies. Exchanges will even be compelled to slow down larger orders. To prevent ‘volatility’. Honestly, as if slowing down money ever accomplished anything.

Approximately 3,500 entities might qualify. A positively teeming mass of financial titans, wouldn’t you say? 😜

A Market Peculiarly Empty of Sensible People

This ban created a market dominated by…the public. One shudders to think! Institutional money vanished, seeking more civilized climes, while the amateurs traded with abandon. A most unfortunate state of affairs.

Quite different from the U.S., where sensible institutions dominate. Those Americans always did have a certain pragmatic streak.

Stablecoins and ETFs – Don’t Get Your Hopes Up, Darling

They’re pondering these ‘stablecoins’ – anchored to the dollar, naturally. And even the possibility of their own won-denominated version. One suspects this is more about control than innovation. And a spot crypto ETF? Don’t hold your breath.

Industry Response: A Polite Grumble

The industry has, predictably, offered a polite but firm grumble. The restrictions are, apparently, rather ‘restrictive’. One can’t imagine why. They’re more conservative than, well, everyone else. Really, the audacity!

Some are suggesting that these limits will stifle creativity. One wonders if they’ve met Metaplanet. Always an awkward example, that one.

The Next Act

Expect more guidelines within weeks, and full implementation tied to some obscure ‘Digital Asset Basic Act’ in early 2025. So, potentially, trading desks before the year is out. But don’t plan a celebratory cocktail party just yet.

This isn’t about a sudden embrace of speculative frenzy, you see. It’s about South Korea reclaiming its position. After a period of self-imposed isolation, they’ve decided to join the party but on their own terms, naturally. It’s all very…choreographed.

Disclaimer: This article is merely diverting and should not be construed as actual financial advice. One wouldn’t dream of being responsible for your investment choices! Coindoo.com offers information, not fortune. Please do your own research and consult a professional before risking anything.

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2026-01-12 06:07