Bitcoin to $1 Million: Samson Mow Predicts the Future (and It’s Hilarious!)

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Ah, gather ‘round, dear readers, for we have an announcement from the ever-enthusiastic Samson Mow, the CEO of JAN3 and self-proclaimed Bitcoin oracle. It seems he’s turned his crystal ball toward the realm of social media, specifically that grand bazaar known as X, where thoughts flit about like caffeinated butterflies.

Now, if you’re thinking, “Didn’t he say this before?” then you’d be absolutely correct! But fear not! This time he has set forth a more concrete timeline for Bitcoin’s inevitable ascent to the lofty height of $1 million. Yes, indeed! Not just any old vague promise-this time, he’s got dates! Well, sort of. Think of it as a celestial calendar for the financially adventurous.

Mow’s Grand Prediction: The Million-Dollar Quest

In a flourish of keyboard strokes and fervor, Samson Mow addressed his followers with the kind of enthusiasm usually reserved for announcing the arrival of unicorns. He predicts that Bitcoin will frolic its way to $1 million between the years 2031 and 2033. Mark your calendars, folks! 🎉

He also graced us with some intriguing mechanics of this financial wizardry, neatly summarized in bullet points because who doesn’t love a good list?

The first thrilling nugget is that Mow believes Bitcoin will merrily increase by an average of $150,000 each year. Yes, you read that right-$150,000! Just think of it as Bitcoin’s version of an annual salary increase, except it’s for a digital currency, and there are no awkward conversations with HR.

The second point, which reads like an avant-garde art installation, is that over certain years, Bitcoin will exhibit “multiple Omega price candles.” 🕯️ Now, if that doesn’t sound like a fancy term for a particularly energetic dinner party, I don’t know what does! Of course, there might also be some years where the price decides to just sit down and have a cup of tea instead.

There is strong consensus from almost every price model that Bitcoin reaches $1.0M in 2031-2033.

What does that look like mechanically?

1️⃣ +150k per year steady
2️⃣ Multi Omega 🕯️ years + some sideways years

What’s to stop a fast run up ahead of schedule if either 1 or 2 hits?

– Samson Mow (@Excellion) January 12, 2026

As his message concluded, our dear Mow hinted at a potential “fast run-up ahead of schedule” if one of his conditions meets the market’s whims. It’s like predicting a stampede at a buffet-exciting, if a bit chaotic!

Mow’s Previous Prophecies of a Million-Dollar Bitcoin

In the annals of Bitcoin lore, Mow has previously declared that BTC would soar to a million bucks at a pace faster than a caffeinated cheetah. His reasoning? The impending launch of spot Bitcoin ETFs in 2024 and a halving event that promises to shake things up more than a snow globe at a toddler’s birthday party.

According to our friend Mow, the perfect storm of supply shock colliding with demand shock would propel Bitcoin to that magical million-dollar mark. And let’s not forget the potential approval of a U.S. national Bitcoin Reserve, an event that could make even the most stoic of financial analysts weep tears of joy. However, amidst all these delightful predictions, Bitcoin currently sits at around $90,000, a figure that feels more like a roller coaster than a straight ride up to a million. 🎢

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2026-01-12 13:48