BitMine’s Wild Ride: Ethereum Moon Shot or Shareholder Shenanigans? 🚀💸

Well, I say, old bean, the BitMine stock price has been pottering about like a chap who’s lost his umbrella in the fog, all while the chaps in the trading room await the outcome of a dashed crucial shareholder vote. And what ho! The eggheads at Standard Chartered have gone and predicted an Ethereum surge that’d make even Bertie Wooster’s aunt Agatha sit up and take notice.

  • BitMine stock, bless its little cotton socks, has formed a double-bottom pattern on the eight-hour chart. Jolly good show, what?
  • A major shareholder’s vote on increasing authorized shares-from a modest 500 million to a whopping 50 billion-ends on Wednesday. Dilution, anyone? 🍸
  • Standard Chartered, those clever coves, predict Ethereum will soar to $7,500. Toodle pip, bears! 🐻‍⚖️

BitMine, chums with the chap Tom Lee, was trading at $31.60, a figure it’s clung to like a terrier with a bone. This, mind you, is just a smidge above the key support level at $28.75, where it’s fashioned itself a double-bottom pattern. Rather spiffing, if you ask me.

Now, the stock’s fate hangs in the balance like a poorly tied bowtie, awaiting the result of a shareholder vote that wraps up on Tuesday. The question? Whether to bally well increase the authorized shares from 500 million to 50 billion. Tom Lee insists it’s not to dilute the holdings of Peter Thiel, Cathie Wood, and Jonathan Bates, but rather to provide the old girl with cash for strategic acquisitions, selective at-the-money capital raising, and future share splits. Hmm, sounds like a chap trying to have his cake and eat it too. 🍰

2/
There are 3 reasons the company needs to increase authorized shares, but one is the most important:

– enable selective ATM, capital raises
– opportunistic deals (mergers, etc)
– accommodate future share splits <-KEY

The last point is key🔑

Any time a company splits shares,…

– Thomas (Tom) Lee (not drummer) FSInsight.com (@fundstrat) January 2, 2026

The company also chirps that it’s nearly hit its current authorized share limit, implying it might stop hoarding Ethereum (ETH) to reach its goal of owning 5% of the market cap. Rather a shame, that. 🤑

Word on the street is that the BMNR stock price will be as volatile as Jeeves on a rollercoaster over the next few days, what with investors reacting to the vote results. Yahoo Finance chaps say implied volatility has shot up to 97%, nigh on its historical high of 103%. Buckle up, old sport! 🎢

On the bright side, BitMine’s started monetizing its Ethereum stash by staking tokens worth over $3 billion. Plans are afoot to stake the whole caboodle, which would net them a cool $500 million a year once they hit that 5% market cap target. Not too shabby, eh? 💰

And those Standard Chartered analysts? They reckon Ethereum’s got enough catalysts to hit $7,500, which would value BitMine’s Ethereum hoard at a staggering $32 billion. Toodle-oo, financial worries! 🌕

BitMine stock price technical analysis 

The eight-hour chart shows the BMNR stock price has been as range-bound as a chap stuck in a lift with his mother-in-law. A closer squizz reveals a double-bottom pattern at $28.76 and a neckline at $41. Rather sporting of the bears to hold off below that level, what?

So, the most likely scenario, old bean, is a rebound as the bulls make a dash for the neckline at $41.2. A move above that, and we’re looking at further gains, potentially to $50 or beyond. Pip pip! 🚀

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2026-01-13 23:34