Senate Beware! DeFi Fund Warns Of Crypto Bill Catastrophe 🚨

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As the Senate Banking Committee prepares to markup a crypto bill with the enthusiasm of a toddler given a chainsaw, the DeFi Education Fund has unleashed a manifesto of amendments they claim are as welcome as a dragon in a teacup. 🦠

In a recent social media post (on X, formerly Twitter, because nothing says “revolution” like a platform named after a bird), the organization expressed concerns that the draft crypto bill might as well be written in a language only ancient wizards understand. 🧙‍♂️

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The DeFi Education Fund, ever the champions of innovation (and slightly chaotic ideas), warned that the proposed amendments could turn the DeFi world into a bureaucratic nightmare. Think of it as the IRS taking a vacation and leaving a trail of paperwork in its wake. 📄

Amendment #42, proposed by Senators Reed and Kim, seeks to let the Treasury sanction smart contracts and centralized platforms. Because nothing says “progress” like a government agency with a penchant for bureaucracy. 🦠

This amendment has sparked panic among developers, who fear it might as well be a “kill all decentralized things” button. 🚫

Amendment #45, also from Senator Reed, aims to define digital assets under the Bank Secrecy Act. Because nothing says “trust us, we’re experts” like a 100-page definition document. 📚

Amendment #47, also from the same senator, removes a provision about unlicensed money transmission. Because why let small fry operate when you can let the big fish swim? 🐟

Amendments #72 and #73, from Senator Cortez Masto, narrow the definition of non-controlling developers and expand FinCEN’s powers. Because nothing says “fairness” like letting a government agency act as both referee and player. 🧩

Amendments #74 and #75 aim to strengthen money transmission laws and ban transactions with “unlawful” DeFi protocols. Because nothing says “innovation” like a government that thinks it knows better than the people. 🚫

Amendment #104, proposed by Senator Elizabeth Warren, strikes a key distribution carve-out for crypto offerings. Because nothing says “support for small businesses” like a senator who’s never held a cryptocurrency. 🧠

This follows calls from Summer Mersinger, CEO of the Blockchain Association, who claims the “Big Bank Lobby” is trying to rewrite the GENIUS Act like a bad fanfiction. Because nothing says “democracy” like a lobby that’s more powerful than a dragon. 🐉

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2026-01-15 02:33