Phantom Wallet’s Visa Gambit: Crypto Meets Mainstream 😏

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Behold, the delusional optimism of our times: Phantom Wallet now spends crypto via Oobit’s Visa integration. Fifteen million users can now squander their digital tokens in real-world chaos, no exchanges needed-just trust the system! 🤡

Oobit, that paragon of innovation, has gifted Phantom Wallet the ability to spend crypto anywhere Visa reigns. Users now “retain possession” of their money until it vanishes into the void of global commerce. A triumph of modern finance! 💸

The Tether-backed payments app, with its DePay platform, claims to “bridge” crypto to mainstream networks. Coin Bureau, ever the oracle of truth, insists this somehow “removes the need for merchants.” One wonders if they’ve met a cash register before. 🤷‍♂️

Phantom users can now pay online or in-store, their crypto converted to local currency in real time. Businesses, of course, receive fiat via Visa’s labyrinthine infrastructure. A seamless dance of trust and confusion! 🕺

From Holding to Spending: A Tale of False Hope

The infrastructure, now “mature,” has done little to curb crypto’s daily irrelevance. Oobit’s DePay layer, with its “smart contracts,” ensures tokens only transfer when authorized. A noble goal, if one ignores the 99.9% of transactions that still vanish into the ether. 🌌

Oobit boasts Phantom’s Visa-enabled reach spans 80 countries, including the U.S., Brazil, and South Korea. A bold claim, considering most users still buy crypto to avoid banks, yet now rely on them more. Hypocrisy, thy name is blockchain. 🤝

No pre-loading, no bridges-just atomic transactions via DePay. Users “retain control,” as if control exists in a system where your keys are stored on a server you don’t own. A masterclass in cognitive dissonance! 🧠

You might also like: Senate Delays Crypto Bill After Coinbase Quits-Again 🚫

Strategic Backing: A Symphony of Mutual Benefit

Anatoly Yakovenko, Solana’s co-founder, and Tether, that paragon of stability, led Oobit’s $25m Series A. The OOB token now resides on Solana, a move as transparent as a politician’s tax returns. 🕵️‍♂️

VCI Global, Malaysia’s answer to financial innovation, invested 100 million OOB tokens. Tether, ever the puppeteer, now oversees their digital treasury. A cozy arrangement, if one enjoys watching money burn. 🔥

Oobit CEO Amram Adar calls this “crypto in real life.” A phrase so oxymoronic it deserves its own monument. Adoption in Thailand, Brazil, and South Korea? More like adoption by the whims of inflation and desperation. 🤯

This integration, they say, aligns with “merchant acceptance and wallet adoption.” Phantom’s 15 million users, mostly in regions where Oobit recently “ventured,” now have a new way to outsource their financial anxiety. A true modern marvel! 🏛️

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2026-01-15 19:42