In a spectacle as absurd as it was predictable, the erstwhile US President Donald Trump, with his customary flair for the preposterous, declared at the World Economic Forum in Davos his intention to annex Greenland through immediate negotiations. He assured the assembled grandees that force, that most uncivilized of tools, would not be employed.
Trump, with a gravity befitting a man proposing to purchase an ice cube, insisted that this endeavor was driven solely by national security concerns. Rare earth minerals, he scoffed, were as irrelevant as a teetotaler at a cocktail party.
Trump’s Greenland Gambit: A Security Farrago
In a performance that might have been scripted by a satirist of lesser talent, Trump held forth at Davos, speaking without notes and with his usual disregard for coherence. Twenty minutes into his soliloquy, he turned to the matter of Greenland, a topic as anticipated as a tax audit.
After paying lip service to Greenland and Denmark, Trump proclaimed that the United States alone could safeguard this “giant piece of ice.” One might imagine the ice quivering in gratitude.
“It’s the United States alone that can protect this giant piece of ice,” he intoned, as if the ice were a damsel in distress awaiting her knight in a gilded armor.
He then called for immediate negotiations, a gesture as sincere as a used car salesman’s handshake. Force, he reiterated, would not be used-a statement that contradicted earlier musings on the subject, leaving one to wonder if he had misplaced his script.
“We want a piece of ice for world protection. You can say yes, we will be very appreciative. You can say no, and we will remember,” he added, with the subtlety of a sledgehammer.
Trump dismissed any interest in rare earth minerals, insisting that his motivation was purely “strategic national and international security.” One could almost hear the ice rolling its eyes.
He then meandered into a discourse on nuclear warfare and missile capabilities, painting a picture of global tensions as unprecedented. Russia and China, he implied, were lurking like specters in a B-movie.
Trump also revisited his favorite themes: NATO’s inadequacies, the rigged 2020 election, and his hypothetical prevention of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. One might have mistaken him for a man campaigning in a parallel universe.
Greenland Saga Descends into Broader Buffoonery
On Tuesday, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney delivered a pointed critique of Trump’s Greenland fixation. Trump, never one to let a slight go unanswered, responded with characteristic aplomb.
“Canada lives because of the US, Remember that Mark, the next time you make your statements,” Trump declared, with the grace of a bull in a china shop.
He then extolled the achievements of his administration, a litany as familiar as a hymn at a Sunday service. The US economy, he boasted, had thrived under his stewardship, in stark contrast to the Biden era.
Trump also turned his ire on Europe’s political leadership, deeming it a “failed model.” Migration, deficits, and inflation were cited as evidence, though one suspects he might have conflated them with his own golf scores.
WATCH: Trump on Venezuela “Venezuela’s fifty million barrels we’ll be splitting them up with them, once the attack ended they said, ‘let’s make a deal,’ more people should do that, every major oil company is coming in with us, the leadership of the country have been very smart”
– BeInCrypto (@beincrypto) January 21, 2026
Venezuela, too, received a mention. Trump claimed the US had captured strongman Nicolás Maduro and secured oil agreements, praising Delcy Rodríguez’s leadership. “Venezuela is going to make more money in the next six months than they made in the last 20 years,” he proclaimed, with the confidence of a man who has never balanced a checkbook.
“Venezuela is going to make more money in the next six months than they made in the last 20 years,” he said, as if wealth were a matter of divine favor rather than economic policy.
Finally, Trump turned his attention to the energy sector, lambasting Europe’s environmental policies as the “green new scam.” One might have thought him a fossil fuel evangelist, preaching to the unconverted.
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2026-01-21 18:31