AI Eats Bitcoin Miners for Breakfast, Investors Cheer with Confetti

by

Markets

What ho, financial adventurers! Gather ’round for a tale of AI, bitcoins, and the inevitable march of progress (or is it just greed in a fancy suit?):

  • Anthropic, the wizards behind the chatty Claude, are about to snag a cool $20 billion in funding, valuing them at a staggering $350 billion. That’s right, folks, enough to buy a small planet, or at least a very large spaceship.
  • Apparently, investors were so enamored with the idea of talking robots that they threw twice as much money at Anthropic as originally planned. Who needs a balanced portfolio when you can have AI-powered dreams?
  • This news has sent the AI sector into a tizzy, with bitcoin miners-now conveniently rebranded as AI infrastructure providers-soaring like rockets fueled by pure hype. IREN, TeraWulf, Cipher Mining, and Hut 8 are all riding the wave, presumably while wearing tiny astronaut helmets.

So, Anthropic, the San Francisco-based brain trust behind the AI chatbot Claude, is raking in $20 billion from venture capitalists and other deep-pocketed dreamers, according to the Financial Times. This deal values the company at $350 billion, which is roughly the GDP of a small country, or the cost of a really nice sandwich in San Francisco.

Initially, the company was aiming for a modest $10 billion, but investors, in a fit of AI-induced frenzy, decided to throw caution-and their wallets-to the wind. “AI is the future!” they cried, as they handed over their life savings. Or at least, that’s what the people familiar with the matter told the FT. Probably over a very expensive lunch.

Somewhere between $10 to $15 billion of this windfall will land in Anthropic’s coffers as early as Tuesday, with the rest trickling in over the coming weeks. Leading this financial extravaganza are the Singaporean sovereign wealth fund GIC and U.S. investor Coatue, with Sequoia Capital chipping in a hefty sum. Because, you know, why not?

Meanwhile, bitcoin miners who have pivoted to AI and high-performance computing (HPC) infrastructure are basking in the glow of this news. IREN and Cipher Mining are up by more than 12%, while Hut 8 and TeraWulf are enjoying gains of over 8%. It’s like a party, but with spreadsheets instead of confetti.

Even the AI-linked token Near Protocol is joining the fun, though it’s only modestly higher. Perhaps it’s still deciding whether to invest in a new blockchain or a fancy new hat.

And let’s not forget the tech titans Microsoft and Nvidia, who have already pledged $10 billion and $5 billion, respectively, to Anthropic. Because if there’s one thing tech companies love more than money, it’s more money.

So there you have it, folks. AI is eating the world, bitcoin miners are rebranding, and investors are throwing money at anything with a circuit board. Strap in, because the future is here, and it’s weirder than a three-headed giraffe playing the banjo.

Read More

2026-01-28 00:03