Coinbase’s Super Bowl Fumble: Where’s My Bitcoin, Larry?

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So, Coinbase decided to throw a Super Bowl party, huh? Except this party’s got more drama than a Seinfeld reunion. Users are flipping out because their “Big Game Challenge” payouts are MIA. Yeah, you heard that right. People predicted the game, won, and now Coinbase’s like, “Oh, sorry, we’re still settling the mail-in entries. Maybe check back in 2027.”

Apparently, prediction markets are the new black, but they’re also the new “why does nothing ever work?” Reddit’s on fire with complaints. One guy’s like, “I won 5 predictions, but my Bitcoin’s ghosted me harder than my ex.” Another saw their winnings pop up, then poof, gone faster than a Larry David rant.

Coinbase’s Payout Chaos: A Masterclass in “How Not to Do It”

Some users are calling it a “rug pull.” Coinbase’s app says, “You won!” Then an email’s like, “Psych! Just kidding.” Classic Larry David energy. “You’re a winner! No, you’re not. Make up your mind, Coinbase!”

“Yeah, I also never got my Super Bowl bitcoin pot money because I won 5 predictions $coin @coinbase @CoinbaseAssets. Maybe it’s stuck in traffic with Kalshi’s deposits?”- Mitch 🇺🇸🎙️ (@MitchOnX) February 12, 2026

Coinbase’s support team’s like, “Chill, it’s coming by February 23, 2026. Maybe.” Meanwhile, users are refreshing their accounts like it’s the final episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

“We completely understand how important this is to you. Verified winners will receive their prize directly into their Coinbase account. The prize amount will be a share of $1,000,000 in Bitcoin, divided equally among all winners. Prizes are expected to be fulfilled no later than February 23, 2026. Or maybe March. Who knows?” Coinbase explained.

Kalshi’s Traffic Jam: When Crypto Meets Super Bowl Sunday

Meanwhile, Kalshi’s like, “We spent all this money on ads, and our app’s crashing harder than a George Costanza job interview.” Their co-founder’s like, “Your money’s safe, it’s just taking a scenic route.” Sure, Jan.

“Some deposits are delayed because of the amount of traffic and deposits we’re getting. Your money is safe and on the way, it will just take longer to land. Like, a lot longer.” – Kalshi cofounder Luana Lopes Lara, probably sweating into her coffee.

This whole thing’s a mess. Infrastructure’s cracking under pressure, regulators are suing Coinbase like it’s a parking violation, and Vitalik Buterin’s like, “Prediction markets need to grow up. Stop betting on whether Jerry’s gonna eat a muffin and start hedging your risks.”

“Recently I have been starting to worry about the state of prediction markets. They’re like that friend who’s always late-full of potential, but never on time.”- vitalik.eth (@VitalikButerin) February 14, 2026

So, here we are. Coinbase’s Super Bowl challenge turned into a Super Bowl fumble. Users are mad, regulators are mad, and Larry David’s probably somewhere saying, “This is why I don’t do crypto.”

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2026-02-16 12:36